Tears of the Moon - Di Morrissey [166]
The staff respected Gilbert’s request to avoid any mention of the death of Olivia’s son. As Gilbert said, it was war time. Everyone knew someone who had suffered a loss. The best way to deal with life was to put yesterday behind you and go forward.
On her rounds the first morning back at work Olivia met the new girl in the room she shared with three others.
They smiled at each other and Olivia glanced at the medical records. ‘Well, Maria, I’m glad to say you seem to be very healthy. I’m sure all will turn out well.’
Olivia sat by the bed where Maria was hunched in the centre, her legs tucked under her, still wearing the simple shift they gave all the girls for the checkup. She looked miserable and tears trickled down her face.
Reaching over, Olivia took her hand. ‘My dear girl. I know how you must feel … truly I do.’ And as the girl lifted an angry tear-stained face, Olivia managed to say, ‘I have lost my only child, my son, in this war.’
The girl was instantly contrite but she spoke with bitter sadness. ‘I don’t understand why he went. He didn’t have to.’
‘Do you want to talk about him?’
The girl shook her head.
‘Then let’s make a pact. We can share our grief but we don’t have to talk about it and drag it up all the time. It’s just something you and I have to bear. They tell us to take it moment by moment, day by day. And it seems the best way. You have your child to think about.’
‘I don’t know what to do. I can’t go back to my family … the shame of it all. We weren’t married yet … we were about to be but he was called up to go, so quick … ’
‘Let’s wait and see. Maybe after the baby comes, you—and they—will feel differently. It is their grandchild, after all.’
The girl looked unconvinced but was somewhat comforted by Olivia’s words.
Maria soon slipped into the routine of Shaw House, marvelling at the compassion, help and generosity shown to the girls who passed through. Three of them were pregnant—one had been assaulted for running away from a brothel and two were homeless Aboriginal runaways who’d been living on the streets after being taken from their families as young children and farmed out as servants and mistreated.
She made herself useful and Olivia found herself calling on Maria for assistance more and more. Finally she asked Maria if she would be interested in working as her assistant once she was over the birth. Olivia liked the calm and pleasant girl and a bond slowly developed between them. She put it down to their shared loss, but was sensible enough to recognise the girl’s abilities.
Gilbert encouraged the friendship, hoping it would help divert her attention. They never spoke of Hamish, Olivia kept all her pain locked up. She had taken down his photos and put them in a drawer by her bed. But once Gilbert had found her sitting in the darkness holding a photo to her chest. Not knowing she was in the bedroom he’d turned on the light and was shocked at the anguish on her pale, still face. He sat beside her and held her silently, wishing with all his heart she would at least cry or share the burden with him.
Maria’s baby decided to come in the middle of the night and when Doctor Shaw was summoned Olivia insisted on going with him.
Strange feelings, thoughts and emotions swept over Olivia as she sat beside the panting girl in labour. Memories of the birth of James came back with great intensity and for a moment the awareness that she had lost both sons, her only children, threatened to overwhelm her. She gripped Maria’s hand as her child pushed into the world and Olivia fervently hoped Maria would never suffer as a mother the way she had.
Gilbert held up the squalling infant. ‘A girl,’ he announced.
She was