Tears of the Moon - Di Morrissey [170]
‘Mum, all my life I’ve been haunted by these memories. All my life I’ve been too frightened to even mention them, not even to you. But it’s all out in the open now and I can’t tell you what a huge relief it is. I don’t know if it is a mistake or not. I know I pass for white and Aborigines are regarded as rubbish by most people, but I just can’t deny what I am any longer. It’s as if something is pulling me, some spirit … ’ Maria slumped back in her chair and put a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. ‘I don’t know, it’s all so confusing. I really can’t expect you to understand. I hardly understand it myself.’
Olivia reached over and briefly touched her hand, then turned to the Barstows. ‘I think the next step is to go to Broome. Thank you very much for at least showing us the letter. It tends to confirm everything and that’s a big step forward.’
By now the little girl was demanding attention and tried to get on Mrs Barstow’s lap. The woman was unable to resist the natural instinct to lift the child up. ‘Pretty child, isn’t she.’
‘One big bundle of energy and trouble, I can tell you,’ said Maria quickly, seizing on her mother’s softening. ‘Can’t keep still and more adventurous than any tomboy.’
‘A bit like her mother wouldn’t you say, Fred?’ said Mrs Barstow looking briefly at her husband. ‘You were a handful when you first came to us, Maria, believe me.’
Olivia found this reminiscing contagious. ‘Maya, Maria, was a real tomboy as a little one, I can assure you. She used to play with my boy quite a lot and they were always getting into mischief.’
There were a few more exchanges but the Barstows kept a wall of reserve firmly in place and it was clear to Olivia that they had come as far as they could towards accepting the situation. She indicated it was time to get the little one back to the hotel for a nap.
‘Before you go, you’d better collect some of the stuff you left behind, Maria,’ said Mrs Barstow, hurrying from the room with Maria trailing behind her. In the bedroom wardrobe was a battered schoolbag stuffed with bits of cheap jewellery, old letters, a favourite rag doll and a few photographs.
The farewells were formal enough, Mr Barstow extended a hand to both women and nodded, able to do little more than wish them a good trip back to Perth. Mrs Barstow gave Maria and the sleepy child a fleeting kiss on the cheek. ‘You might let us know how things turn out,’ she called from their verandah as the little group reached the gate.
The train next day wasn’t crowded and they had a first class compartment to themselves. It gave Olivia plenty of time and opportunity to tell Maya stories of Broome, Tyndall, Star of the Sea, and the story of how she first met the Aborigines of Niah’s tribe, the birth of her first son, and many events that gave Maya a better grasp on her other world.
Maya became more and more excited as she learned about the time in Broome when she was a child. ‘I can’t wait to get there. Are we really going, Olivia? It seems such a big thing to do. And I’ve no money, you know.’
‘I’m sure Gilbert will be agreeable. Forget about the money. I can’t wait to see John’s face when he meets you. It will be absolutely wonderful for him. He loved you so much. So much.’
They had morning tea then both dozed a little, lulled by the rocking of the train, the hypnotic dick-clack of the wheels over the rails and the peacefulness of the passing countryside. They were still about two hours from Perth when Maria took her old schoolcase from the brass rack above her and opened it on the seat opposite Olivia.
‘I loved this rag doll. Couldn’t let it be thrown away when I grew out of it.’ She gave it a cuddle and pressed it to her cheek. ‘Still smells the same.’ She tried on some junky jewellery which made them both laugh and she handed some jewellery and the doll to her little one to keep her occupied.
Maya then started thumbing through the photographs. ‘Oh, look at this will you. Me just after finishing high school. Mum and Dad were so proud they insisted on a memorial photograph.’ She handed