Tears on a Sunday Afternoon - Michael Presley [49]
When we were on the Belt Parkway heading to Brooklyn, Brian and I spoke for the first time since leaving Julie’s house.
“Julie really doesn’t want to give Donna any of the money. Do you think that’s fair?” I asked Brian.
“Julie’s a good woman. She’s the best woman I’ve met since I’ve been in New York. Is it fair to cut Donna out completely? No, I don’t think it is.” Brian hesitated before continuing. He looked out the window, as if remembering something specific. “Will she be happy with anything but what you guys agreed upon? I don’t think so. Hence the dilemma. If she won’t be happy with anything but the full thing, giving her some or a little bit will have the same effect. And, to be honest, everything comes back to you, Donald. Donna doesn’t know about Julie and me. You have to ask yourself what you could live with. It’s not about Donna’s feelings anymore. It’s about yours.”
I heard Brian loud and clear. Since the incident with my father, I had cared less and less about people and their feelings. The world was full of the plighted and seeing that heaven and hell were not certainties, one’s actions became meaningless. The mere fact that I was planning a robbery that would involve hurting another spoke volumes about my moral decline. I had rolled the dice; now I had to deal with the numbers. “I really don’t have any feelings for Donna. She was a good piece of ass, but I won’t lose sleep over her being angry at me.”
Brian glanced over at me. “Then there isn’t anything more to discuss about this matter.”
The rest of the ride to Brooklyn was spent in silence. Brian was immersed in his own thoughts and I was immersed in mine. I was contemplating how I was going to approach Julie and, even though this last meeting had taken her off the pedestal, she was still my friend. I also knew that I couldn’t just fuck Julie and keep it moving. I needed someone else to talk to about that so I dropped Brian off at his apartment and headed over to someone whom I could trust.
It seemed like every time I went over to my grandmother’s house, I had to drink a cup of tea. Grandma sat on the couch opposite from mine; the hot cup of tea in her right hand. I placed mine down on a saucer on the center table that was covered in a white tablecloth.
“I always thought that you should’ve gotten married to Julie. Julie’s a good girl. She came by to see me last week,” Grandma said. “We had tea and a very good talk.”
Julie had taken a liking to my grandmother the first time they had met and she had continued to visit her. My grandmother welcomed her visits and, of course, she got to serve tea.
“Grandma, I’m interested in Julie as more than a friend,” I said a bit nervously. The only other woman I had spoken to my grandmother about was Lauren and she had told me not to marry her.
“You finally came to your senses. What about Lauren?” she asked.
“Well, with the exception of Emerald, Lauren and I live totally different lives. I hope she will come to her senses soon so we can go our separate ways.” I finally drank some of the tea. “We’ve been talking about getting a divorce.”
“You’re not going to leave Emerald with those people, are you?”
“Not if I can help it.”
Grandma never said “lesbians” or “gays.” She always referred to them as “those people” almost like they were aliens. The other day, she had informed me that “those people” were demonstrating again.
“I’d love to see you with the right woman. You’ve been through so much. I’ve tried my best to raise you the way your mother would have wanted. You’ve done a lot of things I didn’t like but, for the most part, you’ve been the star in my eyes. I don’t know how much longer I have on this earth, but I’d like to leave it knowing that you’re happy.”
“Grandma, you’re not going anywhere.”
She was making me sad. Besides Emerald, Grandma was my only family. She was an only child so there were no cousins or other relatives.
“Donald, I know you don’t want me to go but my time is coming. I’ve lived a long life and when God says it’s over, I’ll be gone. You have Emerald and he’s your responsibility.