Thailand (Lonely Planet, 13th Edition) - China Williams [31]
Status & Obligation
* * *
Culture Shock: Thailand (2008), by Robert and Nanthapa Cooper, explains Thailand’s quirky, curious and practical customs.
* * *
All relationships in traditional Thai society – and those in the modern Thai milieu as well – are governed by social rank defined by age, wealth, status and personal or political position. The elder position is called pôo yài (literally the ‘big person’) and is used to describe parents, bosses, village heads, public officials etc. The junior position is called pôo nóy (little person) and describes anyone who is subservient to the pôo yài. Although this tendency towards social ranking is to some degree shared by many societies around the world, the Thai twist lies in the set of mutual obligations linking the elder to the junior.
Pôo nóy are supposed to show obedience and respect (together these concepts are covered by the single Thai term greng jai) towards pôo yài. Those with junior status are not supposed to question or criticise those with elder status be it in the office, the home or the government. In the workplace, this means younger staff members are not encouraged to speak during meetings and are expected to do their bosses’ bidding.
* * *
THAI TÊE·O
When it comes to wan yùt (holidays), Thais don’t stay at home and curl up with a book. Instead they gather up their friends and go on a têe·o (trip or journey). University students might pack up their guitars and bottles of whisky for a camping trip at a nearby national park. Middle-class matrons dress up in their most beautiful silk dresses to make merit at a famous temple. And villagers climb into the back of pick-up trucks to go shopping at a secondhand border market. Regardless of the destination, all têe·o have a few commonalities. There’s usually a lot of chaotic driving (if invited on a têe·o, don’t sit in the front seat) and more time spent eating than actually visiting the intended destination. Of course every road trip has the obligatory lunch stop and then there are the pit stops for speciality snacks. Before departing, so much time is spent driving around town picking up friends and running unrelated errands that it begins to feel like an episode of the Keystone Cops. But the waiting and detours are part of the excursion and go unnoticed by chatting friends.
* * *
In return pôo yài are obligated to care for or ‘sponsor’ the pôo nóy. It is a paternalistic relationship in which pôo nóy can, for example, ask pôo yài for favours involving money or job access. Pôo yài reaffirm their rank by granting requests when possible; to refuse would be to risk a loss of face and status. When dining, touring or entertaining, the pôo yài always picks up the tab; if a group is involved, the person with the most social rank pays the bill for everyone, even if it empties his or her wallet. For a pôo nóy to try and pay would ‘ruin our culture’ as a Thai friend once explained. Sharing one’s wealth within one’s social circle or family affirms a person’s position as an elder. This component of familial obligation is often a source of confusion in mixed marriages between Thais and Westerners.
* * *
Thai World View (www.thaiworldview.com) is a culture lesson with lots of handy vocabulary covering everything from body gestures to soap operas.
* * *
The protocol defined by the social hierarchy governs almost every aspect of Thai behaviour within family units, business organisations, schools and the government. Elected or appointed officials occupy one of the highest rungs on the social ladder and often regard themselves as caretakers of the people, a stark contrast to the democratic ideal of being the voice of the people. The complicated personal hierarchy in Thailand often prevents collaboration, especially between those with competing status.
Most foreign visitors will interact with a simplified version of this elder-junior relationship in the form of pêe (elder sibling) and n