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Naturally, this level of risk-avoidance leads to what we all want: a long-ass shitty life.

But let’s assume you’re one of the few (billion) people who wants a degree of fun and freedom in life. The real question then becomes not “How can I extend life at all costs?” but rather “How can I increase the length of my life without severely decreasing my quality of life?”

The most basic approach would be to eat, drink, and be merry, and believe that a few more laughs and tasty calories will beat most lab theories in the long run. I believe this to be true.

The second complementary approach, which can be followed right along with the first, is to consider therapies that are minimally inconvenient and that, based on the scientific literature, should work in humans.

THE SHORT LIST

The short list of therapies should then be ethically filtered. “Ethics” can be nebulous, but here’s an example:

If you’re a woman and want to buy cancer insurance, you could opt to have a full-term pregnancy before age 20. Some scientists believe it could be “the most effective natural means of protecting against breast cancer” due to the hormone hCG.

Should you therefore have children before age 20? I suggest that life-extension is not a good enough reason, particularly since another life is involved. This option is therefore omitted from our list.

Separating the wheat from the chaff, we might consider four candidates that make the cut:

• Resveratrol

• Injections of the immunosuppressant drug rapamycin2

• Alzheimer’s vaccines

• Stem cell therapies

These might just get you to 200 or beyond, especially if used in combination.

And I’m avoiding them.

But … why?

I believe, as do some scientists, that focusing on global therapies (drugs or treatments with broad molecular effects) without long-term human data is barking up the wrong tree, a tree fraught with unpredictable side effects.

Take resveratrol, for example, which is currently available over- the- counter. It is effective in extending lifespan in nearly all species tested, but it can also block or activate estrogen receptors. Could this affect other metabolic or hormonal feedback loops, disrupting fertility if taken routinely? It’s impossible to say, which is why I’ll use resveratrol short-term at higher doses for endurance while tracking blood markers, but I won’t use it indefinitely for life-extension. Telomerase activators like TA-65, another example, are purported to extend our chromosomal countdown clocks called “telomeres.” TA-65 can cost up to $15,000 per year. Is it possible that, by amplifying cell replication, you increase the likelihood of dangerous cancerous growth? Perhaps. It’s simply beyond our technology to guarantee one outcome or another, so I’m avoiding TA-65 as well.

But if not in global therapies, where is the promised land?

Until we can go to Walmart and get a RoboCop makeover with regenerative medicine, there are a few alternatives in a second short list.

These are the protocols I am currently using.

All of them are low-cost, low-tech, and low-risk. Most of them also provide athletic or body composition benefits, even if their life-extension effects are later debunked:

1. CYCLES OF 5–10 GRAMS OF CREATINE MONOHYDRATE (COST: $20/MONTH)

Creatine monohydrate, popular among power athletes since its commercialization in 1993, has recently become a candidate for minimizing or preventing the development of Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and Huntington’s diseases.

There are almost 20 years of published research involving human use of creatine monohydrate. Since my family has Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s on both paternal and maternal sides, it is low-cost insurance: I’m ingesting 5–10 grams of creatine monohydrate powder per day for two consecutive weeks every two months. If you choose to use this protocol, I suggest tracking and trending hepatic enzymes, BUN, and all the usual blood testing suspects to ensure no kidney problems. Complications are rare, but an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Nowhere is this truer than in life- extension.