The 4-Hour Body_ An Uncommon Guide to Ra - Timothy Ferriss [46]
2000 years ago Shen Nong first identified this potent elixir as an “adaptogenic tonic” (i.e., it gives you whatever you need: energy, relaxation, beauty, sexual prowess).
Things were off to a good start.
After some flirting and playful verbal sparring, I made my move.
“Don’t let this weird you out.”
I took an electronic food scale out of my man-purse,6 which I use to carry odd items, and began separating all of my food so I could weigh the individual pieces. This was, of course, the beginning of the end.
Ah, l’ amor … It is fickle and not fond of serial-killer-like behavior.
But love could wait. I had other things on my mind.
It was just the beginning of a 12-hour quest for fatness, and it was my second attempt. The first attempt, done with more than 10 pounds of fatty cuts of grass-fed beef, had failed. That is, I could consume only six pounds without vomiting, and I didn’t gain one gram of fat.
Why the hell do a quest for fatness at all, you ask?
Because I wanted to prove, once and for all, that the calories-in-calories-out model was plain wrong, or at least incomplete. The easiest way I could do this was by consuming a disgusting number of calories in a short period of time and documenting the aftereffects.
This time, I had a different approach.
At 11:43 P.M. that evening, with two minutes remaining, I struggled to choke down a final package of Nutter Butters. I had polled my then 60,000 or so Twitter followers the previous night for their favorite calorically dense foods, and I had committed to consuming as many as possible. Everything I ate or drank would be photographed and either measured or weighed.
Here’s how it added up, with non-eating but important events indicated with an asterisk:
11:45 A.M. start
• 1 cup steamed spinach (30 kcal)
• 3 tbsp almond butter on one large celery stalk (540 kcal)
• 2 heaping tbsp Athletic Greens in water (86 kcal)
• Chicken curry salad, 195 g (approximately 350 kcal)
Total = 1,006 kcal
12:45 P.M.
• Grapefruit juice (90 kcal)
• Large coffee with 1 tbsp cinnamon (5 kcal)
• 2% milkfat milk, 315 ml (190 kcal)
• 2 large chocolate croissants, 168 g (638.4 kcal)
Total = 923.4 kcal
2:00 P.M.
• Citrus kombucha, 16 oz (60 kcal)
*2:15 P.M.
• Poo
• AGG (discussed later)
• Butter fat and fermented cod liver
*3:00–3:20 P.M.
• 15 repetitions x 3 sets each:
1. Bent row
2. Incline bench press
3. Leg press
3:30 P.M.
• 1 qt Straus cream-top organic whole milk (600 kcal)
*4:00 P.M.
• Probiotics
• 20-min. ice bath
4:45 P.M.
• Quinoa, 230 g (859 kcal)
5:55 P.M.
• Zzang candy bar (216 kcal)
• Yerba mate (30 kcal)
Total = 246 kcal
*6:20 P.M.
• Poo
*6:45 P.M.
• 40 air squats and 30 wall tricep extensions
6:58 P.M.
• Assorted cheeses, 33 g (116 kcal)
• Honey, 30 g (90 kcal)
• Medium apple (71 kcal)
• Crackers, 8 g (30 kcal)
• Chai tea with soy milk (not my choice), 12 oz. (175 kcal)
Total = 482 kcal
*9:30 P.M.
• 40 air squats in men’s room
9:36 P.M.
• Pizza (nettles, red onion, provolone, mushroom, pancetta, and olive oil with one whole egg), 8 pieces (64 g each) (1,249 kcal)
• 1 small glass red wine, Nero d’Avola, 5 fluid oz. (124 kcal)
• Bi-Rite vanilla ice cream, 59 g (140 kcal)
• Double espresso (0 kcal)
Total = 1,513 kcal
10:37 P.M.
• 2 heaping tbsp Athletic Greens in water (86 kcal)
*10:40 P.M.
• PAGG (discussed later)
• 60 standing band pulls
*11:10 P.M.
• Poo
11:37 P.M.
• Peanut cookie, 40 g (189 kcal)
• Nutter Butter package, small (250 kcal)
Total = 439 kcal
2:15 A.M.
• Bedtime/face plant
For a grand total of … drum roll, please … 6,214.4 calories in 12 hours.
Based on basal metabolic rate (BMR) calculations that took into account my lean mass vs. fat mass at the time, my BMR for 24 hours was approximately 1,764.87 calories, which would make my 12-hour BMR 882.4 calories.
There are two things we need