The Adventures of Augie March - Saul Bellow [239]
dguila. My heart was full of murder toward them, as toward the motorman that day on the State Street line when the slugger was in pursuit of me. But I put my breast against the radiator and heaved. Stella hadn't had the sense to duck down--I suppose she had to see what was happening and be ready for flight. Now she had been recognized by the bystanders, and it was too late. "Augie, what are you doing?" I had prayed that Thea had gone straight back to Casa Descuitada to pack for Chilpanzingo, but she was here, and the crowd around me at the station wagon had brought her over. She stared at Stella through the windshield. "Where are you going with her? Isn't she the hostess? Why did you dump me at that horrible party?". "Oh, I didn't dump you." "With that terrible Moulton. No? Well, I couldn't find you." I couldn't pretend that it was an extremely serious thing to have left her alone at that party. "It was just for a few minutes," I said. "And now where are you going?" "Listen, Thea, this girl is in a lot of trouble." "Is she?" "I'm telling you she is." Stella didn't come out, or change her position behind the spotted dust of the glass. "And are you getting her out of trouble?" said Thea, angry, ironic, and sad. x* 385 THH ADVENTURES "You can think what you want about me," I said, "but it's because you don't understand how urgent it is, and that she's in danger." I was full of the frantic hurry of escape, and in true fact I already felt caught. As for Thea, enfolded in the rebow, she stared at me--hard, begging, firm and infirm, all together. There was something about Thea of a nervousness, and she was a kind of universalist, believing that where she stood the principal laws were underfoot. And this made her tremble, but also she was daring. So at a time like this I didn't know what to expect from her. One thing more: she was, like Mimi, a theoretician about love. She was different from Mimi in that Mimi really intended to do everything for herself if others failed her. And maybe Mimi didn't even need others except as witnesses or accessories. Thea knew better than that. I had heard from various men, and especially from Einhom, about women's fanaticism in love, how for them all life was knotted around this one thing whereas men found several other vital places of attachment and therefore were more like to avoid monomania. You could always get part of the truth from Einhorn. "It's a fad," I said. "Oliver went crazy and tried to kill her today." "What are you trying to give me! Whom could that poor idiot hurt? Besides, why do you have to be the one to protect her? How do you get into this?" "Because," I said, impatient over logic, "she asked me to take her out of town. She's trying to get to Mexico City, and she can't get on the bus here. The police might try to pick her up too." "Even so, where do you come in?" "But don't you see? She asked me!" "Did she just? Or did she ask because you wanted her to?" "Now how would I do that?" I said. "As if you didn't know what I was talking about! I've seen you with women. I know what you look like when a handsome woman or even not such a handsome woman passes by." I said, "Well--" about to assert how normal that was. Then I wanted to say instead, "What about the men out East, that Navy officer and the others?" But I held this back even though it crawled into my throat with a bitter taste. Minutes counted now; I remembered, however, seeing the Mexican faces that listened to this wrangle as if it were the New Testament. "Why do you have to do this?" I said. "Can't you take my word for it she's in danger? Let me do something for a change. We can take up these other things later, in private." "Do you have to rush like this because of Oliver? Can't you protect her from him here?" "I told you he was dangerous. Look!" I was out of my mind, nearly, with impatience. "He's going to try to get away and he wants to drag her v.'ith him." "Oh, she's going to ditch him and you're helping her." "No!" I almost yelled, then dropped my voice low. "Don't you understand any part of what I'm trying to tell you?