The Adventures of Augie March - Saul Bellow [307]
and stamp on. No matter how enraged, he always used these pie tins, not good china. Basteshaw laughed as he told this, but I was sad for the old man. "The car couldn't be used in the funeral because it was in smithereens. That made it a Viking funeral, after a fashion. After he was planted my next move"--I flinched in advance--"was to break off with my cousin Lee. The old man made me get engaged to her on the ground that I trifled with her affections. After he mixed in I never intended to marry her." "Trifle? What did he mean?" "That I was in the sack with her. But I swore I'd never give the old man the satisfaction." "You might have been in love with her, old man or no old man." He gave me a sharp glance. I didn't know what sort of person I was dealing with. "She had pulmonary phthisis, and people like that are frequently highly stimulated. Increased temperatures often act on the erogenous zones spectacularly," said he in his lecturer's tone. "But was she in love with you?" "Birds with their higher temperature also lead a more intense emotional life. I see from the way you speak of love that you don't know a thing about psychology or biology. She needed me and therefore loved me. If another guy had been around she would have loved him. Suppose I had never been born, does that mean she wouldn't have loved anyone? If the old man hadn't interfered I might have married her, but he was pro so I was contra. Besides, she was dying. So I told her I couldn't possibly marry her. Why string her along?" Brute! Pig! Snake! Murderer! He had hastened her death. I couldn't bear the look of him for a while. "Within a year she died. Toward the end her face was absolutely mealy, poor girl. She was quite pretty originally." "Why don't you shut up!" He was surprised at me. "Why, what's eating you?" he said. "Listen, drop dead!" He would have let me drown too, or be eaten by sharks. Nevertheless the conversation was resumed by and by. Under the circumstances, what else? So now Basteshaw told me about another relative, an aunt. She slept for fifteen years. And then one day suddenly arose and went about the house as if nothing had happened. "She dropped off when I was ten years old. She woke up when I was twenty-five, and she knew me right as soon as she saw me. She wasn't even surprised." I'll bet. "One day my uncle Mort was coming home from workthis was out in Ravenswood. You know how they build the bungalows there? He was going around to the back, between two houses, and as he passed the bedroom he saw her hand reach out to pull the window blind. He recognized the hand by the wedding band, and he came close to filling his pants. He stumbled in, and sure enough, she had cooked supper and it was on the table. She said, 'Go wash!' " "Incredible! Could it really happen? Why, it's a regular sleepingbeauty story. Was it sleeping sickness?" "If she had been a beauty she wouldn't have slept so long. My own diagnosis is some form of narcolepsy. Etiology purely mental. It may account for Lazarus. For Miss Usher of the House of Usher and many others. Only my aunt's case is extremely illuminating. Deep secrets of life. Deeper than this ocean. To hold tight is the wish of every neurotic character. While she slept she ruled. In some part of her mind she knew what was going on, as evidenced by the fact that she could resume life after fifteen years with accuracy- She knew where things were, and she was not surprised by the changes. She had the power achieved by those who lie still." I had to think of Einhom in his wheel chair, lecturing me about strength. "While battles rage, planes fly, machinery produces, money changes hands, Eskimos hunt, kidnapers sweep the roadsthat person is safe who by lying in bed can make the world come to him, or to her. My Aunt Ettl's whole life was a preparation for this miracle." "It's something, all right," 1 said. ' "You bet your sweet life. It's of the utmost significance too. Do you remember how the great Sherlock Holmes doped things out in his room on Baker Street? But compared to his brother Mycroft he was no place. That