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By Root 1192 0

"where we normally know it's winter 'cause I see my grandmother maybe wearing an extra sweater. Before I came to Washington, I had no idea what cold was. But I got used to it once I was here, and learned to bundle up on those days when the Potomac turned white. And if I can do that, we all can. This ain't no ice age, that's just fool talk. No global warming neither. This is just some funny old weather cycle, a little jape the Good Lord has seen fit to play on us, and it'll pass. Long as we wrap up warm and look out for each other, we'll be fine."

"I would," said Abortion, gesturing at the screen.

"Her?"

"Absolutely. Wouldn't you?"

I looked again at Keener. Those cheekbones. Those lips. That voice. That figure, which her tailored suit did nothing to disguise and everything to emphasise.

"Yeah," I admitted. "If she wasn't a happily married mother of two."

"Even then," said Abortion. "Especially then. Happily married mothers of two don't get any at home. She'd be gagging for it."

"The first ever PILF," I said.

"PILF?"

"Politician I'd Like to Fuck."

Abortion chortled. "PILF." He chortled again. "I'm going to remember that one. For use later."

As we headed back out to the car a massive yawn ripped through me like an earth tremor. I was knackered. Been driving all day, without let-up, and on my mettle every inch of the way.

I didn't want to ask him - it went against every instinct I had - but I couldn't see a way out of it.

"Abortion, will you drive?"

"You sure?"

"No, but I don't think I can go on without catching some rest."

"You said you didn't trust me behind the wheel."

"Fucked-up as you are, I still don't. But I need to get my head down, and we need to get back on the road while there's still a road to get back on. Just be careful, don't go fast, don't get fancy. Half an hour's shuteye, that's all I want, then we'll swap back over."

Abortion snatched the keys from my hand and bounded over to the Astra.

Honestly, it was like being with a kid, not a grown man the wrong side of thirty.

Which reminded me.

As Abortion got the car in motion, I fished out my mobile. Shouldn't be calling Gen's but wanted to. Wanted to speak to Cody, just hear his voice, make contact before Abortion and I disappeared into whatever it was we were about to disappear into.

One bar of signal, flickering. I gave it a shot.

"Gid."

"Gen. How you doing?"

"You're very faint."

"Reception out here's being knackered by the snow, like everything else."

"Out here? Where are you?"

"Fuck knows, frankly. Somewhere way north. Just passed a sign saying 'Beware - Wild Haggises Ahead.'"

"You're travelling? Are you mad? Have you not heard the Met Office warnings? It's going to hit minus twenty in some parts tonight."

"Since when have I ever paid attention to warnings?"

"Seriously, they're saying people could die out there."

"It sounds like you almost care," I shouldn't have said but did.

Gen's voice went rigid. I could imagine her eyebrows puckering, that way they did when she was annoyed. "Would you like me to put Cody on?"

"Go on then."

Some clattering, feet on stairs, Gen saying "Your father," and Cody groaning, which broke my heart.

"Yes?"

"Hey, boy. What's up?"

"Not much."

"School today?"

"No."

"Snow day."

"Yeah."

"Did you get outdoors? Make a snowman?"

"No." Like: Why would I do something so lame? I'm twelve, you know.

"Sledging?"

"Stayed in with my Xbox. Roz bought me this awesome new game. Bushido Midnight. Roz's cool. She played it with me for hours. She's better at being a samurai but I kick her arse when I'm playing as a good vampire."

"Don't swear."

"What's that? Dad, I can hardly hear you."

"I said don't... Never mind. It's great that you had a nice time with Roz. She's a good bloke."

"Da-a-ad," he sighed.

But I'd meant it as a compliment. Sort of. "Anyway, look, Codes, you take -"

"Dad?"

"You take care, and -"

"Dad? You there?"

"And do your homework -"

"Mum, I think he's gone."

"And -"

Nothing. Silence. Disconnected.

"And," I said into the ether, "tell your mum and that butch bitch girlfriend