The All-True Travels and Adventures of Lidie Newton_ A Novel - Jane Smiley [231]
I looked at her, afraid to say a word.
"You done gi’ me some money once."
"You must be mis—"
"No, I ain’! You didn’ see me, but I saw ya. You was wadin’ in a stream and you had a boy wid ya. You lef’ four dollar on a rock fo’ me."
I felt my jaw drop. I said, "Were you in a cave?"
"That war me, missy. Oh, I was cold dat day! I done swum the river and walked up de crick deah, and my draws was soakin’ wet."
"Lorna!"
"Hush, now! Massa Richard is a light sleeper, and times he get up and walk around de house ’cause he’s thinkin’ on things."
I didn’t know how not to believe her. I whispered, "It was a man in that cave!"
"No it waren’t! It war me! Two days later, de catchers got me and beat me good and put me in de shackles and everythin’, so don’ say it waren’t me, because I got de stripes to show for it! Now hush. I got somethin’ to tell ya." She gave me a firm look, then said, "You is leavin’ heah, ain’ you?"
"How did Thomas know you were in that cave?"
"Dere was a man in dat town. He done come down from Wesconsin to do things fo’ de Underground Railroad. He done bought a farm dere, by de river."
"Roger Howell!"
"Dat may be de name. I never seen de man." She shrugged that off. "I know you is leavin’, because I looked under de bed and saw dat you packed you bag, an’ I heared you beggin’ off de outin’ tomorra. Dey is gone be away all day and into de night, and dat’s a good time fo’ you to git off, ain’ it?"
I didn’t say anything.
"Well, you is takin’ me wid ya."
I gasped.
"Yes, you is. Now make up you mine dat you is gone take me, because you is. You cain’ gi’ me four dollar one time and walk away from me de nex’, dat’s what I think!"
"I can barely get out of here myself!"
"You think I ain’ got me a plan? I been plannin’ this fo’ a week, since I done seen who you is. I didn’ know you at firs’, ’cause you cut you haiah and had some men’s clothes on and I didn’ rightly believe it ware possible that it could be you, but you is a big gal. I ain’ never seen another as big as you—tall, I mean, ’cause you ain’ fat nohow—but however, I done worked it out."
"That wasn’t my four dollars; that was my husband’s!"
"De one dat was killed?"
"Yes."
"Den dis is somethin’ you gone do fo’ him. I done made up my mine, missy, dat you came heah to git me, wheder you know it or not!"
"What’s the plan, then?"
"I ain’ gone tell you all de pieces right now. When I comes wid you breakfast in the mawnin’, I’ll tell you a little bit. But you jes’ do what I tells you, and we is gone to be fine!"
She got up and seemed, in her light garments, to drift across the floor and out of the dark room. This gave the whole episode an even profounder appearance of ghostly unreality, and in fact, if it hadn’t been for the feel of her hand on my face the first moment, I might have failed to believe any of this had happened. But it had; I must say that it woke me right up. My bag was packed, so I sat there and watched the light appear in my windows. Lorna! Lorna had claimed me! And added to that, Lorna had a plan she seemed confident about. I could put my own escape into her firm and capable hands. More important, I had a distinct sense of Thomas’s approval. He seemed to move toward me, to be more lovingly present in my mind than he had been at any time since his death. Of course, Lorna was right. Aiding in her escape was the thing I had to do for Thomas that would somehow restore him to me.
And I wasn’t afraid, not nearly as afraid as I’d been countless times before in the last year; not as afraid as when I’d escaped from the boat, not as afraid as when I’d gone into K.T, not as afraid as when I’d looked at Thomas and known for the first time that he would, indeed, be my husband. Even though aiding in the escape of a slave was, according to both Kansas law and Missouri law, a crime punishable by hanging, even though there was a war on, even though I hadn’t the first notion of where we would go and how we would get there, I was not afraid. Lorna, after all, had a plan, and I had a purpose.