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"Three times in all."

My heart sank.

I halted the pony in front of a hotel.

Lorna muttered, "What you doin’?"

"We need to get inside somewhere."

She looked up at the building and said, "What do dat word say?"

"It says ’hotel.’ "

"We got to pay out some money?"

"Maybe a little."

"Ain’ got much."

I tried to speak brightly in spite of my growing dread. "You can sell things in Independence. I’ve got some things to sell." Did this include the pony and the cart? I wasn’t sure my thieving could go quite that far. Mindful of Lorna’s instructions, I got myself out of the cart and went into the hotel as if I were alone, trying with all my might not to look as panicky as I felt. I hadn’t actually gotten Lorna to reveal her plan, had I? She followed me closely and kept her head down. On the scale of luxury, this establish- ment fell somewhere closer to the Humphry House, where Thomas and I had spent the night in Kansas City the year before, than to the Free State Hotel, in Lawrence, which was burned up during the sacking, but the staircase was complete, no looking through the risers to the cellar three or four floors below, and it did look as though it had private rooms. There was a man standing in a doorway across the room, and as we entered, he came forward. Lorna was close behind me, my bag in one of her hands and her bundle in the other. I saw that things were up to me, at least for now. I threw back my shoulders and looked around critically. I said, "What would I pay for a room for the night? A private room, one night?"

The man pulled off his hat. "Four dollars, ma’am."

"Oh, my goodness, that’s much—"

"And the gal is four bits. We got quarters out back."

I could hear Lorna counting in her head as well as if she were doing it out loud. I drew myself up and looked around. She hadn’t made a sound, had she? I thought, Here’s one for you, Frank, and said, "I will give you three dollars, sir, and my gal has to stay with me. She’s deaf, you know, deaf as the doorpost, and she can’t be with others because she can’t make out what folks are telling her to do. I got to have her with me."

Lorna neither moved nor made a sound, but only stood with her head lowered.

I went on. "She’s a good gal, but I just don’t know what to do with her. Can’t sell her, because she’s useless to anyone else. But I swear!"

The man looked at me.

I went on, leaning toward him, but speaking loudly enough for Lorna to hear. "My paw shot her. You can’t see the scars because she’s got her kerchief on. He didn’t mean to, he was drunk, and he wasn’t even a mean drunk in those days, but it was late at night, and she was just a girl, and she was getting up to get him a candle, and he had his rifle with him, and he was coming in, and he just shot her!" I put my hand on Lorna’s arm and brought her forward, as if there were something to see, and the man looked at her with eager curiosity, as if he were seeing it, and then he nodded. He said, "Well, ma’am, we are busy with this war—"

"My goodness me! I am so frightened, I feel that I must throw myself on your mercy for this one night!" I opened my reticule and pulled out three dollars. "We are trying to get out of this country and back to Saint Louis." I leaned forward again and lowered my voice. "I have been disappointed in love, sir!"

The man stepped back. I stepped forward.

"A certain captain of the militia, whose name I shall not reveal, brought us out here by steamboat and then, when we got here, produced a wife and four children! I fled, but my hopes were far different than this, and I am low on funds." I let him look into my reticule just for a second. "Sir! I needn’t tell you about the state of my feelings! I can see by the look on your face that you are in sympathy with me—" I turned away as if to hide my face, and caught a glimpse of Lorna. Her face was as sober and impenetrable as wood. I turned to the man again. "My gal doesn’t understand. I’ve had a hard time communicating these betrayals to her—"

At last, he was overwhelmed. He said, "You ken have the room, ma’am."

"The Lord himself looks