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'If you like,' said the mayor, after a while, 'you could have a little desk here in my office-'

'I'll live underground, thank you all the same,' said Darktan, pulling himself together. 'Little desks are a bit too Mr Bunnsy.'

The mayor sighed. 'I suppose so. Er…' He looked as if he was about to share some guilty secret and, in a way, he was. 'I did like those books when I was a boy, though. Of course I knew it was all nonsense but, all the same, it was nice to think that-'

'Yeah, yeah,' said Darktan. 'But the rabbit was stupid. Whoever heard of a rabbit talking?'

'Oh, yes. I never liked the rabbit. It was the minor characters everyone liked. Ratty Rupert and Phil the Pheasant and Olly the Snake-'

'Oh, come on,' said Darktan. 'He had a collar and tie!'

'Well?'

'Well, how did it stay on? A snake is tube-shaped!'

'Do you know, I never thought of it like that,' said the mayor. 'Silly, really. He'd wriggle out of it, wouldn't he?'

'And waistcoats on rats don't work.'

'No?'

'No,' said Darktan. 'I tried it. Tool belts are fine, but waistcoats. Dangerous Beans got quite upset about that. But I told him, you've got to be practical.'

'It's just like I always tell my daughter,' said the man. 'Stories are just stories. Life is complicated enough as it is. We have to plan for the real world. There's no room for the fantastic.'

'Exactly,' said the rat.

And man and rat talked, as the long light faded into the evening.

A man was painting, very carefully, a little picture underneath the street sign that said 'River Street'. It was a long way underneath, only just higher than the pavement, and he had to kneel down. He kept referring to a small piece of paper in his hand.

The picture looked like:

Keith laughed. 'What's funny?' said Malicia.

'It's in the Rat alphabet,' said Keith. 'It says Water+Fast+Stones. The streets have got cobbles on, right? So rats see them as stones. It means River Street.'

'Both languages on the street signs. Clause 193,' said Malicia. 'That's fast. They only agreed that two hours ago. I suppose that means there will be tiny signs in human language in the rat tunnels?'

'I hope not,' said Keith.

'Why not?'

'Because rats mostly mark their tunnels by widdling on them.'

He was impressed at the way Malicia's expression didn't change a bit. 'I can see we're all going to have to make some important mental adjustments,' she said, thoughtfully. 'It was odd about Maurice, though, after my father told him there were plenty of kind old ladies in the town that'd be happy to give him a home.'

'You mean when he said that wouldn't be any fun, getting it that way?' said Keith.

'Yes. Do you know what he meant?'

'Sort of. He meant he's Maurice,' said Keith. 'I think he had the time of his life, strutting up and down the table ordering everyone around. He even said the rats could keep the money! He said a little voice in his head told him it was really theirs!'

Malicia appeared to think about things for a while, and then said, as if it wasn't very important really, 'And, er… you're staying, yes?'

'Clause 9, Resident Rat Piper,' said Keith. 'I get an official suit that I don't have to share with anyone, a hat with a feather and a pipe allowance.'

'That will be… quite satisfactory,' said Malicia. 'Er…'

'Yes?'

'When I told you that I had two sisters, er, that wasn't entirely true,' she said. 'Er… it wasn't a lie, of course, but it was just… enhanced a bit.'

'Yes.'

'I mean it would be more literally true to say that I have, in fact, no sisters at all.'

'Ah,' said Keith.

'But I have millions of friends, of course,' Malicia went on. She looked, Keith thought, absolutely miserable.

'That's amazing,' he said. 'Most people just have a few dozen.'

'Millions,' said Malicia. 'Obviously, there's always room for another one.'

'Good,' said Keith.

'And, er, there's Clause 5,' said Malicia, still looking a bit nervous.

'Oh, yes,' said Keith. 'That one puzzled everyone. "A slap-up tea with cream buns and a medal", right?'

'Yes,' said Malicia. 'It wouldn't be properly over, otherwise. Would you,