The American Way of Death Revisited - Jessica Mitford [98]
Also included in this survey are the names of twenty mortuaries in the area that will provide direct cremations for less than $700, cremation container and crematory fee included. The funeral homes owned by SCI and Loewen quote prices of $2,745 to $3,985 for the identical service. For more information, Father Henry’s Web site is: www.xroads.com/~funerals.
No one, not even fellow members of the ministry, has escaped the righteous wrath of this avenging angel who has chosen as his special target malfeasance in the funeral industry. The IFIC also uncovered what it regards as a pattern of mortuary manipulation of the clergy. According to the panel, some clergymen have relationships with morticians that entail receiving gratuities or inflated stipends for funeral services. The committee’s findings were the subject of a feature story in the Arizona Republic, which reported a pattern of offers—gifts to clergymen of country club memberships, trips on mortuary airplanes, and tickets to sporting events.
In Montana, one mortician makes it a practice to buy a side of beef at the 4-H fair and put it in a freezer for the local minister. Another keeps an RV available—for the local preacher to use for his vacation, and yet another provides the pastor with a “beeper.”
Then, of course, there’s the ubiquitous and somewhat more subtle calendar. Mortuaries supply churches with these for distribution to parishioners. The calendars prominently display the name of the funeral home, which is frequently thanked from the pulpit for its contribution.
In yet another instance, Green Acres Mortuary donated several kegs of helpful beer for a picnic at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Catholic Church in Scottsdale. When asked about this, the pastor said that such donations do make him uncomfortable. There is no question but that such a donation is a form of advertising, he said. “We want to receive the gifts, but at the same time I don’t want to bite the hand that gives it.” The mortuary’s spokesman saw things very much the same way. “Donations from mortuaries are a legitimate business practice to solicit recommendations,” he is reported as saying. “Am I out there hustling business? You’re damn right I am.… You always hope you will get recommended when you make a donation. That’s why you do it. You expect your associations and friendships with priests and ministers will bring you some business.”
* Italics in the original.
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The Federal Trade Commission
In 1975, after an intensive two-year study, the Federal Trade Commission’s Consumer Protection Bureau announced with much fanfare a proposed “trade rule” on funeral industry practices. The rule produced a flurry of articles in newspapers and magazines across the country, hailing it as a significant victory for consumer rights. At the heart of the original proposal were these requirements:
The Consumer’s Right to Choose. Existing industry practice was to quote a package price based on a multiple of the cost of the casket, stating that “this includes our full range of services.” The FTC rule would require itemization so that the purchaser could choose or refuse such services as embalming, use of slumber room, or grief counseling (!), with a corresponding reduction in price for unwanted items.
Prices must be quoted over the telephone. The undertakers had theretofore routinely refused to quote prices over the phone on the ground that this information was “too sensitive” to discuss by telephone. Come into my parlor,