The Angel in the Corner - Monica Dickens [137]
People began to stay away from the Olive Branch. Some of the regulars were missing for days on end, and when they did come in, they would eye Joe warily to see what kind of a mood he was in. Ella did not come any more, although her husband sometimes rolled cheerily in without her. This should have been a relief to Virginia, but it was not, because she thought she knew why Ella did not come. Joe stayed out all one night, and it was after that that there was no more Ella with her curtain of blonde hair and her long, sly eyes. She had got what she wanted. There was no need to come seeking it any more.
Desolate as she was in the loss of Jenny, Virginia now had to contend with her increasing anxiety about Joe. She had no idea what to do with him. When he was drunk, she could do nothing with him. She could not reason with him and she could not control him. He either laughed at her or swore at her. His drinking pushed him away from her into a separate life, whose only contact with her was to fight her or make love to her, either of which usually ended for her in pain or humiliation.
When he was sober, she could do nothing, because she dared not jeopardize whatever was normal in their relationship by giving him the chance to quarrel. She wanted to show him what was happening to their marriage, so that between them they could stop it before it was too late. She wanted to show him that he was losing customers, and that they would lose their chances of staying at the Olive Branch if he went on like this. She knew that he was not paying for all the drinks he took. He might be clever enough with the book-keeping to disguise it for a time, but sooner or later their employers would find out, and it would be the end. But if she ever tried to tell him these things, he would leap into a quarrel, and a quarrel had only one ending for Joe nowadays, No loving reconciliations or sweet repentance; only the sour and deceitful consolation of the whisky bottle.
Virginia could only wait and hope that time would bring him back to her. Each time they quarrelled, each time he was drunk or violent, she thought that she could not endure it any more. But she had to endure it. There was nothing else to do. Whatever Joe did, whatever he was, she was committed to him, and by something more than duty. There were times when she did not know whether she loved him any more, and yet this bond that held her to him was incomprehensible if it was not love. She had to stay with him. She had to endure this bad time, because she knew that somehow, some day it would get better. It was not possible to believe that it could go on like this.
Felix came to the Olive Branch again, as she had feared that he would. Joe was in the saloon bar with Virginia, and she had to introduce Felix. Joe grunted, and considered Felix for a moment, chewing his upper lip, then moved to the end of the bar to serve some people who were waiting.
‘Your husband doesn’t seem to like me,’ Felix said mildly, with an eyebrow raised.
‘Why shouldn’t he? You’re imagining things.’ It was a busy night, and Virginia had to talk to Felix in snatches, between pouring drinks and going out to the tables to take orders. Felix was alone. He leaned in the corner between the end of the bar and the wall and watched Virginia moving among the people in the room, greeting them, exchanging a few words, playing the part of landlord’s amiable wife that she had learned and practised since she and Joe came to the Olive Branch.
‘I thought I would find you looking better,’ Felix said when she came back, ‘but you don’t. You look worse. Didn’t the pills help?’
‘I couldn’t go on taking them. They – they didn’t agree with me.’
‘I’ll give you something else.’
‘No. I’m all right.’ Virginia glanced at Joe, and saw that he was looking at them.
‘I wish there was something I could do to help, Virginia.’
She was afraid of the tenderness in his voice. She said again: ‘I’m all right,’ but she wanted to say: ‘If you want to help, please go away. Go away and leave me alone, before you start