The Applause of Heaven - Max Lucado [40]
But the Scriptures weren't written by personality agents; they were inspired by an eternal God who knew that every disciple from then on would spend time in the dungeon of doubt.
Though the circumstances have changed, the questions haven't.
They are asked anytime the faithful suffer the consequences of the faithless. Anytime a person takes a step in the right direction, only to have her feet knocked out from under her, anytime a person does a good deed but suffers evil results, anytime a person takes a stand, only to end up flat on his face ... the questions fall like rain:
"If God is so good, why do I hurt so bad?"
"If God is really there, why am I here?"
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"Did God slip up this time?"
"Why are the righteous persecuted?"
In his book Disappointment with God, Philip Yancey quotes a letter that articulates the problem of unmet expectations in all its excruciating reality. Meg Woodson lost two children to cystic fibrosis, and her daughter's death at age twentythree was particularly traumatic. The following words speak of her pain and doubt as she struggled to cope with what happened:
I was sitting beside her bed a few days before her death when suddenly she began screaming. I will never forget those shrill, piercing, primal screams.... It's against this background of human beings falling apart ... that God, who could have helped, looked down on a young woman devoted to Him, quite willing to die for Him to give Him glory, and decided to sit on His hands and let her death top the horror charts for cystic fibrosis deaths.
Does God sometimes sit on his hands? Does God sometimes choose to do nothing? Does God sometimes opt for silence even when I'm screaming my loudest?
Some time ago, I took my family to the bicycle store to purchase a bike for five-year-old Jenna. She picked out a shiny "Starlett" with a banana seat and training wheels. And Andrea, age three, decided she wanted one as well.
I explained to Andrea that she was too young. I told her she was still having trouble with a tricycle and was too small for a two-wheeler. No luck; she still wanted a bike. I explained to her that when she was a bit older, she would get a bike, too. She just stared at me. I tried to tell her that a big bike would bring her more pain than pleasure, more scrapes than thrills. She turned her head and said nothing.
Finally I sighed and said this time her daddy knew best. Her response? She screamed it loud enough for everyone in the store to hear:
"Then I want a new daddy!"
Though the words were from a child's mouth, they carried an adult's sentiments.
Disappointment demands a change in command. When we don't agree with the One who calls the shots, our reaction is often the same as Andrea's-the same as John's. Is he the right one for this job?" Or, as John put it, "Are you the one? Should we look for another?"
Andrea, with her three-year-old reasoning powers, couldn't believe that a new bike would be anything less than ideal for her. From her vantage point, it would be the source of eternal bliss. And from her vantage point, the one who could grant that bliss was "sitting on his hands."
John couldn't believe that anything less than his release would be for the best interest of all involved. In his opinion, it was time to exercise some justice and get some action. But the One who had the power was "sitting on his hands."
I can't believe that God would sit in silence while a missionary is kicked out of a foreign country or a Christian loses a promotion because of his beliefs or a faithful wife is abused by an unbelieving husband. These are just three of many items that have made their way onto my prayer listall prayers that seem to have gone unanswered.
Rule of thumb: Clouds of doubt are created when the warm, moist air of our expectations meets the cold air of God's silence.
If you've heard the silence of God, if you've been left standing in the dungeon of