The Architecture of the Arkansas Ozarks - Donald Harington [117]
As John and his lynch mob watched, one of Ike Whitter’s cronies, the one in the left door, came tumbling out through the door of the store, down the steps, and crashed into the dirt of the road, where he lay jumbled and inert. John and his lynch mob stopped firing. After another instant, the other crony in the right door repeated the movements of the first. Then, after a longer pause, Ike Whitter himself came tumbling out through the center door and collapsed into the road. John and his lynch mob rushed to investigate, found Ike Whitter breathing, but just barely, and entered the store just in time to see Isaac Ingledew closing the rear door behind him.
“Gawdamighty,” each of the eight said quietly. Then they revived and bound Ike Whitter and his cronies, and lynched them. The new Jasper Disaster headlined the event: STAY MORE VIGILANTES PUT NOOSE ON VILLAINS. There would not be any more ruffians in Stay More for years and years.
But the sheriff, One-eyed Barker, appeared with a warrant for the arrest of John Ingledew and the other vigilantes.
“What in tarnation for?” John demanded.
“Violation of the lynch law,” said One-eyed Barker. “It’s a-gin the law to take the law into yore own hands.”
John and his lynch mob surrendered, were jailed in Jasper, and brought before a judge and jury in the County courthouse. They were represented by Jim Tom Duckworth, a Stay Moron, who, some months previously, had mailed off to St. Louis to purchase the twelve-volume Whitestone’s Easy Jurisprudence and Forensic Medicine Self-Taught. Jim Tom argued before the court that Ike Whitter and his cronies were already half-dead when Isaac Ingledew got through with them, and therefore his clients had not killed them but only half-killed them. Isaac Ingledew was subpoenaed to depone. Since the judge, like the jury and everybody else, knew that Isaac Ingledew was too taciturn to depone, the judge conducted Isaac to his chambers along with the prosecuting attorney and Jim Tom Duckworth, and there he explained that the examination and cross-examination were to be arranged in such a way that Isaac could depone simply by nodding or shaking his head in response to yes-or-no questions. The trial then proceeded. Did Isaac Ingledew enter upon the premises of the Ingledew General Merchandise Store in Stay More, county of Newton, state of Arkansas at the time of the incident hitherto described, gaining entry by means of the rear door of said premises? Isaac nodded. Was Isaac Ingledew’s sole motive or intent the cessation, interruption, or termination of the hostilities, armed conflict, altercation, or contentiousness then in progress? He nodded. Did Isaac Ingledew approach each of the adversaries, combatants or victims, each in turn, each and severally from the rear, catching each by surprise? Isaac shook his head. Then if each was not caught by surprise, was the first one caught by surprise? A nod. The first one, as well as the subsequent two, were seen by the defendants to emerge, come forth, or burst out of their respective doorways in extremely rapid manner, not under their own volition; might it be assumed that Isaac Ingledew had thrown, flang, heaved or chunked each man bodily out through their respective doorways? He nodded. And yet, we may assume, that even being thrown, flang, heaved or chunked out through their respective doorways, and thence downward off the high porch and into the road, would not account for the alleged unconsciousness or alleged half-death of each of the three adversaries, combatants or victims; so is it to be surmised that