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The Architecture of the Arkansas Ozarks - Donald Harington [125]

By Root 1509 0
of the United States. Eli Willard photographed all of the Ingledews, except Isaac, who was unwilling, so we do not know what that patriarch looked like; we can only guess, by subtracting the looks of Salina, who was photographed, from those of all their children, all of whom were photographed, Perlina in a double shot with Long Jack Stapleton, and John in a group photograph with Sirena and all of their children. Since Eli Willard’s camera was portable, he was able, at their request, to photograph the Ladies’ Quilting Bee Society at work on one of their spectacular star pattern quilts, the two dentists at work with patients in their chairs, the two doctors at work with patients on their tables, Willis at work as postmaster, and other “candid” images which form a valuable documentary record of life in Stay More early in our Century.

The photographing session was terminated, late that afternoon, by a sudden heavy shower. The line of customers broke up and ran for shelter on the porches of the store or mill. Old Eli Willard, working as fast as he could, tried to drape his equipment and his automobile with the canvases that he used as backdrops for his photographs, when suddenly his eye caught sight of Denton’s and Monroe’s unusual barn in a nearby field. “Whose barn is that?” he asked the people taking refuge from the rain on the store porch. “Mine and Denton’s,” said Monroe, who was there. “Might I ask permission to park there out of the rain?” asked Eli Willard. “Park?” said Monroe, who had never heard the word before. “I’d like to remove my motorcar there,” Eli Willard said rapidly, because the rain was coming down in torrents now. Monroe had, of course, heard of the word “remove,” as in remove one’s hat, but, whereas a hat is pretty light-weight and easy to remove, it would take a mighty stout feller to remove a whole motorcar, unless…it suddenly occured to Monroe that perhaps what Ole Eli Willard wanted to do was drive the motorcar up to the barn and into the passageway, or maybe, if he wanted to remove it there, it meant he wanted to drive it there and remove it, take it apart, or whatever. “Wal—” Monroe said, but faltered. He didn’t particularly care one way or the other himself, but maybe he ought to go find Denton and talk it over with his brother to see if Denton didn’t mind.

“I’ve got to get my motorcar out of the rain!” Eli Willard beseeched. “Aw, yeah, shore,” Monroe said. “Go right ahead.” Eli Willard cranked his engine, hopped in, and drove quickly to the Ingledew barn. He had to get out and unlatch the barnyard gate and drive through it and get out again and relatch the gate, and by the time he was sheltered in the passageway, frightening the cows and horses, he might just as well have stayed out in the rain because he and his car were soaked. He took a tin can from his tool box and began to bail the water out of the car.

Denton Ingledew had meanwhile been inside the cow crib milking one of the cows. When the Oldsmobile pulled into the passageway, Demon’s cow put her hind foot in the milk pail and kicked it over, lashed the side of his face with her tail, commenced bellowing along with her sisters, and turned completely around, mashing Denton against the wall. He got out alive, and began cussing Eli Willard, who protested, “Your brother said I could park here.” “Park?” said Denton, who had never heard the word before.

“It’s raining cats and dogs,” Eli Willard pointed out. “I had to get my motorcar out of the rain.”

Denton noticed how wet Eli Willard and his motorcar were, and observed, “Didn’t do ye much good, did it? My cows is havin conniption fits. And lookee at them hosses in thar, a-bustin up their stalls. You have done went too far, Mr. Willard. I am a-gorn to have to law ye.”

“Law me?” said Eli Willard.

“Sue ye in court,” Denton explained, and he went off to confer with his attorney, Jim Tom Duckworth, who counseled him that it stood to reason, even if it didn’t stand in the books, that damages and nuisances caused by animals’ reactions to the sight and sound of self-propelled conveyances ought

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