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By Root 1356 0

a while, she understood it, and protested that none of them had any of that monetary stuff, to which he assured her that her credit was good, and he would collect when he came again in a year or so. Then he inquired if the Ingledew cabin was still occupied, and, being told that it was, he remounted his horse and prepared to ride off in that direction, but Lizzie laid her hand on the horse’s bridle and said, “Stranger, afore ye go, could ye tell us if they’s any news out yonder.” With her other hand she gestured to the north, the east, the vaguely oriental points where the world was.

“News?” said Eli Willard.

“Yeah, Connecticut must be whar lives all the gentle-peoples what made these things ye give us. Aint there any news out thar in the Nation?”

“It is all bad,” Eli Willard informed her. “What do you want to hear it for?”

“Wal, we’uns is all hidden out here in the woods, y’know. It do git kinder lonesome, times. A body’d like to hear what’s happenin far off and away.”

Eli Willard just looked at her for a long moment, and then he announced, “Lady of the Lake strikes iceberg in mid-Atlantic; 215 drown. New York City fire destroys 700 buildings. Japanese earthquake kills 12,000. Worldwide cholera epidemic kills millions. Wages rise, but prices rise faster. Financial crash occurs on Van Buren’s 36th day in office. Nation begins first great depression. Bank failures and closings spread like plague. 200,000 are unemployed. Business bankrupt; only pawnbrokers prosper. Van Buren declares ten-hour day on all federal jobs. There. Does that make you feel any better?”

Lizzie Swain smiled and all her children smiled, and Lizzie said, “Hit shore do. We thank ye kindly.”

Shaking his head and muttering to himself, Eli Willard rode on his way. He came to the Ingledew cabin, was hailed by the bitch Tige and her now-fully-grown litter of eight, who surrounded his horse and continued barking until Jacob appeared and said, “Oh. It’s you. Back already?” Then he observed, “You shore didn’t stay away long, this time. Accordin to my clock, you’ve only been gone one day, three hours and forty-five minutes.”

Eli Willard drew an envelope from his pocket, unfolded it, and read it to Jacob Ingledew. “The management deeply regrets being apprised of the alleged malfunctioning of the instrument merchandised in good faith to the customer, and under ordinary circumstances would redeem the allegedly defective instrument with one of acceptable performance, but the management must with compunction inform the customer that, since the management is at the present time no longer actively engaged in merchandising instruments of this nature, we are perforce not able to make available to the customer an alternative replacement, therefore—”

“Yeah,” Jacob said. Then, “How’s the weather out yore way?”

“Cold enough to freeze the tail off a brass monkey,” Eli Willard reported. “Blizzards up to here—” he indicated his chin, and he was still sitting on his horse. “How about you?”

“Had one good snap long about Christmas,” Jacob told him.

The two men discussed the weather for a while, one-eighth of a second by Jacob’s clock, then Eli Willard opened his saddlebag and brought out a stick of ivory which enclosed a blade much sharper than those he had given the Swain boys. He unfolded it and handed it to Jacob.

“What’s it fer?” Jacob asked, holding it gingerly.

“For shaving,” Eli Willard explained. “Perhaps if you cut off those whiskers of yours, you might more easily find a wife.”

“I’ve done found a wife,” Jacob informed him, then he called into the cabin, “OH, SAREY! COME OUT SO’S THIS HERE PEDDLAR FELLER KIN SEE YE!”

“Congratulations,” Eli Willard said to Jacob, and when Sarah appeared he amended that to, “Compliments and congratulations. A beauty. My pleasure to meet you, madam, and to present you with this.” He gave her a pair of the scissoring knives like those he had given to Lizzie Swain, and explained to her how to use them. She had no cloth to cut, but took one of Jacob’s beaver skins and snipped it to flinders, expressing her wonder and delight, then