The Architecture of the Arkansas Ozarks - Donald Harington [80]
“Attempted assassination, sir,” the general replied.
“Who was he ’temptin to ’assinate?” Jacob asked.
“You, sir,” the general replied.
Jacob looked up at Isaac. “That true, son?”
“Aw, naw, Paw,” Isaac said.
“He was caught peering into a window of your house, sir,” the general said, “with a pistol in his possession. He was duly tried by a military tribunal, and convicted.”
“That’s terrible,” Jacob declared. “My own boy. General, that there is my own flesh and blood. I’ve knowed him since the day he was born. He’s a chip off the old block. Isaac Ingledew is my son, sir.”
“That’s terrible,” the general agreed.
“I don’t aim to jist stand here and watch him git hung,” Jacob declared.
“I don’t think you’re required by law to watch, sir,” the general offered, somewhat lamely.
“But don’t the law give me the right to grant him a pardon?” Jacob asked.
“I believe it does, sir.”
“Okay. Isaac boy, you are done hereby pardoned, per executive order. Come go home with me and eat you some victuals.” Jacob led his son down from the scaffold and took him to the governor’s mansion and fed him a large breakfast, during which he questioned Isaac about his motives for peering in the window with a pistol in his possession. Isaac was just as taciturn with his father as he was with anybody else, but he was able to nod or shake his head in response to simple yes-or-no questions, and in this manner Jacob was able to determine that his son had not meant to assassinate him, and also that his son had seen Jacob in the company of his ladyfriend, who, Jacob tried unconvincingly to persuade Isaac, was the secretary of state. Jacob learned that the messengers he had sent to Stay More had never arrived. Bushwhackers were thicker than flies, Isaac told him, not mentioning that he himself had been ambushed seventeen times. After breakfast, Jacob took Isaac over to a Main Street tailor and had him fitted out with a good suit, which was sewn on the spot and altered to fit Isaac’s six-seven frame, then Jacob gave Isaac a tour of the state capitol building and showed him his own large and lavish office, where he gave Isaac a cigar, his first, and a drink of honest-to-God pure whiskey, likewise his first, and asked him if he wouldn’t like to live here in Little Rock. Isaac shook his head, and Jacob understood. In that case, Jacob said, he would make Isaac a present of the Ingledew dogtrot in Stay More, and eighty acres of land. Isaac was choked with gratitude, and didn’t know what to say even if he hadn’t been unable to say anything anyway. Jacob told him that he was going to dispatch a cavalry platoon to escort Isaac back up to Stay More and escort Sarah and the other children back down to Little Rock. Then he questioned Isaac at some length about the progress of the fighting in Newton County, promoted him to colonel, shook hands, and sent him on his way.
Jacob worried about what “arrangement” to make with his ladyfriend once Sarah arrived in Little Rock. He and his ladyfriend had already discussed the inevitable. It had never been a secret to the ladyfriend that Jacob was married. The ladyfriend herself had been married at one time to one of the most prominent citizens of Little Rock. Jacob tried to understand his own feelings. Without using the word “love,” which is a deeply embarrassing term to all Ozarks men, or simply denotes sex for its own sake, Jacob realized that Sarah still occupied the prime position in his affections, and indeed, since absence makes the heart grow fonder and he hadn’t seen her for almost a year, he was very eager to have her with him again, and knew that when she came to Little Rock she would be “First Lady” in more than one respect.
Arriving back in Stay More, Isaac began the arduous task of persuading his mother that she was First Lady of Arkansas and that the First Gentleman of Arkansas desired to have her join him in Little Rock. Being taciturn, Isaac was not able to talk her into believing it. She wanted to dose him with slippery-elm bark, but he told her that if she did, she would also have