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By Root 1492 0

listen to a speech by Jacob Ingledew. The first reunion was such a big success that when time came five years later for the second one, even some of John Cecil’s Rebels tried to sneak in with their families, but they were spotted and driven away. The second reunion happened by accident to occur during the peak of ’mater-pickin time. The womenfolk not only served loads of fresh whole ’maters cooled in springwater, but also they prepared and served baked stuffed ’mater, fried ’mater, broiled ’mater, sautéed crumbed ’mater, as well as ’mater juice, ’mater gazpacho, ’mater compote, ’mater aspic, ketchup, puree, relish, ’mater salad, ’mater jam and ’mater pie, this last, however, being made with green ’maters, which do not have the potency of red ones. Most of the out-of-town reunionists were skeptical of ’maters, until the Stay Morons assured them that they had been eating them for several years now without being p’izened, whereupon they, and everybody, tucked their napkins in their collars and did their duty.

The banquet was again scheduled to run three days, but nobody slept the first night, either making sounds or listening to them. The tent camp in the Field of Clover was a ruckus of amatory sounds, and the various residences of town were not exactly silent, either, except for Isaac Ingledew’s. Isaac got out of bed, allowing as how he had better go and see what could be done to quieten things down. On the dark road to the Field of Clover, he was climbed eight times, so when he arrived at the tent camp he was grateful to accept the drink that somebody offered him and to rest awhile. Returning home, he was only climbed twice, so he figured that things were beginning to quieten down. Once asleep, in deep, deep sleep, he did not notice the noises going on through the night. In the morning it was absolutely silent, until the creak of the first wagonwheel as, one by one, the out-of-town reunionists began returning homeward. By noon the tent camp was abandoned, and the people of Stay More did not come out of their houses for all that day. There would be another G.A.R. reunion in five more years, but it would be scheduled at a time of year other than ’mater-pickin. And that year would be beyond the Decade of Light.

The Decade of Light, like most decades, lasted only ten years. And then it was over. The barrels of whale oil went dry, were empty. The Second Spell of Darkness was ushered in. By daylight, people sat on their porches watching the road for the reappearance of Eli Willard. By night, untired, they went to bed and lay awake with insomnia. The chamberpots were hauled out from under the beds and dusted off, and a new generation of children was warned that the pots would stick to their fingers if they emptied them into a path. Realizing their insomnia was hopeless, the people sat up in the dark, telling to one another terrifying ghost stories, which did nothing for their insomnia but gave them something to do in the dark. Women and children were more suggestible, and both more susceptible to, and addicted to, the shivers brought on by these tales of “boogers” and “haints.” One enterprising group of women, in an effort to kick the habit, attempted to have a quilting bee in the dark, but the product, which somebody referred to as a “crazy quilt,” was a source of mirth to everybody else. The men tried to whittle in the dark, and a number of fingers were lost before this practice was abandoned. When all the ghost stories that everybody knew had been told and retold several times, the more imaginative (and more insomniac) Stay Morons began to create new stories, fantastic tales that stretched credulity beyond bounds. But having nothing else to do, the people began to believe these stories, and the Second Period of Darkness that followed the Decade of Light was not real, that is, it was mostly fictitious or illusory, all in the mind. Isaac Ingledew sobered up, because now that it was dark again Salina was climbing him all the time, every time she caught him standing, and sometimes even when he was sitting, but, being sober, he