The Artemis Fowl Files - Eoin Colfer [25]
These questions were answered almost immediately. A giant Egyptian sarcophagus popped open in the deepest of the shadows, revealing two figures who were most definitely not mummies.
“Congratulations, Mulch Diggums,” said the first, a pale boy with dark hair. Mulch noticed that he wore night-vision goggles. The other was a giant bodyguard who Mulch had humiliated recently enough for it to still smart. The man’s name was Butler, and he did not look in the best of moods.
“You have passed my test,” continued the boy, in confident tones. He straightened his suit jacket and stepped from the sarcophagus, extending a hand.
“A pleasure to meet you. Mister Diggums, I am your new business partner. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is …”
Mulch shook the hand. He knew who this boy was. They had battled before, just not face-to-face. He was the only human to ever have stolen fairy gold, and managed to keep it. Whatever he had to say, Mulch was certain that it would be interesting.
“I know who you are, Mud Boy,” said the dwarf. “Your name is Artemis Fowl.”
CHAPTER 2: HIGH PRIORITY
Police Plaza, Haven City;The Lower Elements
WHEN Mulch Diggums said the name Artemis Fowl, the Mud Boy’s file was automatically shunted to the “hot” pile in Police Plaza. Every fairy Lower Elements Police helmet was fitted with a satellite tracker and could be located anywhere in the world. They also had voice-activated microphones, so whatever Mulch said was heard by a surveillance intern. The case was immediately removed from the intern’s desktop when Artemis’s name was mentioned. Artemis Fowl was fairy enemy number one, and anything related to the Irish boy was sent immediately to the LEP’s technical adviser, the centaur, Foaly.
Foaly listened to the live transmission from Mulch’s helmet, and cantered into LEP Commander Root’s office.
“We have something here, Julius. It could be important.”
Commander Julius Root looked up from the fungus cigar he was clipping. The elf did not look happy, but then he rarely did. His complexion was not as rosy as usual, but the centaur had a feeling that was about to change.
“A few words of advice, pony boy,” snapped Root, tearing the tip from the cigar. “One, don’t call me Julius. And two, there is a protocol in place for speaking to me. I’m the commander here, not one of your polo buddies.”
He leaned back in his chair, lighting the cigar. Foaly was unimpressed by all the posturing.
“Whatever. This is important. Artemis Fowl’s name has come in on a sound file.”
Root sat up abruptly, protocol forgotten. Less than a year previously Artemis Fowl had kidnapped one of his captains, and extorted half a ton of gold from the LEP ransom fund. But more important than the gold itself was the knowledge inside the Irish boy’s head. He knew of the People’s existence, and might decide to exploit them again.
“Talk quickly, Foaly. No jargon, just Gnommish.”
Foaly sighed. Half the fun of delivering vital news was explaining how his technology had made gathering the news possible.
“Okay. I think Fowl has somehow got hold of an LEP helmet. You know that a certain amount of LEP hardware goes missing every year.”
“Which is why we can remote-destruct it.”
“In most cases, yes.”
The commander’s cheeks flushed angrily. “Most cases, Foaly? You never said anything about ‘most cases’ during the budget meeting.”
Foaly raised his palms. “Hey, you try to remote-destruct this helmet if you like. See what happens.”
The commander glared at him suspiciously. “And why shouldn’t I just press the button right now?”
“Because the self-destruct has been switched off, meaning someone clever has got hold of it. Previously the helmet was active, which means someone was wearing it. We couldn’t risk blowing off a fairy’s head, even if he or she is a criminal.”
Root chewed the butt of his cigar.