The Artemis Fowl Files - Eoin Colfer [28]
“But now someone else has stolen the tiara.”
“Exactly. And I need you to recover it.”
Mulch sensed that he had the upper hand. “And why would I want to recover it? And even if I did, why would I need you, human?”
“I need precisely that tiara, Mulch. The blue diamond on its crown is unique, in hue and quality. It will form the basis for a new laser I am developing. The rest of the tiara will be yours to keep. We would be a formidable team. I plan, you execute. You will live out your exile in total luxury. This first job will be a test.”
“And if I say no?”
Artemis sighed. “Then I will post my information concerning your being alive and your whereabouts on the Internet. I’m sure LEP Commander Root, will stumble on it eventually. Then, I fear, your exile will be short-lived and completely devoid of luxury.”
Mulch jumped to his feet. “So it’s blackmail, is it?”
“Only if it has to be. I prefer ‘cooperation.’”
Mulch felt his stomach acid bubble. Root thought he had died during the Fowl Manor siege. If the LEP found out that he was alive, then the commander would make it his personal mission to put Mulch behind bars. He didn’t have much choice.
“Okay, human. I’ll do this job. But no partnership. One job only, then I disappear. I feel like going straight for a couple of decades.”
“Very well. It’s a bargain. Remember, if you ever change your mind, there are many so-called impregnable vaults in the world.”
“One job,” insisted Mulch. “I’m a dwarf. We work alone.”
Artemis pulled a sheet of paper from a tube, spreading it on the table.
“That’s not strictly true, you know,” he said, pointing to the first column on the sheet. “The tiara was stolen by dwarfs, and they have been working together for several years. Very successfully, too.”
Mulch crossed the room, reading the name above Artemis’s finger.
“Sergei the Significant,” he said. “I think someone has an inferiority complex.”
“He’s the leader. There are six dwarfs in Sergei’s little band, collectively known as the Significants,” continued Artemis. “You are to be the seventh.”
Mulch giggled hysterically. “Of course, why not? The seven dwarfs. This day started off badly, and my beard hair tells me that it’s about to get a whole lot worse.”
Butler spoke for the first time. “If I were you, Mulch,” he said in his deep gravelly tones, “I’d trust the hair.”
Holly was out of the spa as soon as she had hosed the algae from her skin. She could have taken a shuttle back to Haven, then caught a connecting flight, but Holly preferred to fly. Foaly contacted her on her helmet intercom as she skipped across the Mediterranean wave tops, trailing her fingers in the spume.
“Hey, Holly, did you get that hoof cream?”
Holly smiled. No matter what the crisis, Foaly never lost sight of his first priority: himself. She dipped the flaps on her wings, rising to a hundred feet.
“Yes, I got it. It’s being couriered down. There was a buy-one-get-one-free deal on. So expect two tubs.”
“Excellent. You have no idea how hard it is to get good moisturizer below ground. Remember, Holly, this is between us. The rest of the guys are still a bit old fashioned when it comes to cosmetics.”
“Our little secret,” said Holly reassuringly. “Now, do we have any idea yet what Artemis is up to?”
Holly’s cheeks reddened at the mere mention of the Mud Boy’s name. He had kidnapped her, drugged her, and ransomed her for gold. And just because he’d had a change of heart at the last minute, and decided to let her go, didn’t mean all was forgiven.
“We don’t know exactly what’s going on,” admitted Foaly. “All we know is that they must be up to no good.”
“Any video?”
“Nope. Audio only. And we don’t even have that anymore. Fowl must have disconnected the mike. All we have left is the tracker.