The Artemis Fowl Files - Eoin Colfer [4]
Police Plaza, the Lower Elements
Holly dropped Phyber off at the booking desk, then darted straight across the courtyard to Julius Root’s office. If the LEPrecon commander wanted to see her, she had no intention of keeping him waiting. This could be her initiation. At last.
There were already people in the office. Holly could see bobbing heads through the frosted glass. “Corporal Short to see Commander Root,” she said breathlessly to the secretary.
The secretary, a middle-aged pixie with an outrageous pink perm, glanced up briefly, then stopped work completely, giving Holly her undivided attention. “You want to go in to the commander looking like that?”
Holly brushed a few blobs of hydrogel from her suit. “Yes. It’s only gel. I’ve been on the job. The commander will understand.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive. I can’t miss this meeting.”
The secretary’s smile was tinged with nastiness. “Well, all right then. Go on in.”
On any other day, Holly would have known that something was wrong, but on that day it slipped past. And so did she, right into Julius Root’s office.
There were two people in the office before her. Julius Root himself, a broad-chested elf with buzz-cut hair, and a fungus cigar screwed into the corner of his mouth. Holly also recognized Captain Trouble Kelp, one of Recon’s brightest stars. A legend in the police bars with more than a dozen successful recons under his belt in less than a year.
Root froze, staring at Holly. “Yes? What is it? Is there some kind of plumbing emergency?”
“N-No,” stammered Holly. “Corporal Holly Short, reporting as requested, sir.”
Root stood, red spots burning on his cheeks. The commander was not a happy elf.
“Short. You’re a girl?”
“Yessir. Guilty as charged.”
Root did not appreciate humor. “We’re not on a date, Short. Keep the witticisms to yourself.”
“Yessir. No jokes.”
“Good. I assumed you were male because of your pilot test scores. We’ve never had a female score that high before.”
“So I believe, sir.”
The commander sat on the edge of his desk. “You are the eightieth female to have made it as far as the initiation. So far none have passed. The equal-rights office is screaming sexism, so I’m going to handle your initiation personally.” Holly swallowed. “Personally?”
Root smiled. “That’s right, Corporal. Just you and me on a little adventure. How do you feel about that?”
“Great, sir. My privilege.”
“Good girl. That’s the spirit.” Root sniffed the air. “What’s that smell?”
“I was on traffic duty, sir. I had a tangle with a fish smuggler.”
Root sniffed the air again. “I guessed fish were involved. Your uniform appears to be orange.”
Holly picked at a blob of gel on her arm. “Hydrogel, sir. The smuggler was using it to transport the fish.”
Root rose from the desk. “You do know what Recon officers actually do, Short?”
“Yessir. A Recon officer tracks runaway fairies to the surface, sir.”
“The surface, Short. Where the humans live. We have to be inconspicuous, blend in. Do you think you can do that?”
“Yes, Commander. I think I can.”
Root spat his cigar into a recycler. “I wish I could believe that. And maybe I would, if it weren’t for that.” Root pointed a stiff finger at Holly’s chest.
Holly looked down. Surely the commander wasn’t upset about a few blobs of gel and the smell of fish.
He wasn’t.
The text bar on her chest displayed one word in block capitals. It was the same word that she had shouted just as the hydrogel had frozen the text display: “D’Arvit,” swore Holly under her breath, which coincidentally was the same word frozen on her chest.
E1
The trio proceeded directly to E1; a pressure chute that emerged in Tara, Ireland. The corporals were not given any personal time to prepare, because they would not have any if they managed to graduate to Recon. Rogue fairies did not escape to the surface at a time prearranged with the police. They took off whenever it suited them, and a Recon officer