The Autobiography of a Quack [37]
a wild idea came into my head. I answered: ``I am thinking as you directed me to do.''
The medium sat with her arms folded, looking steadily at the center of the table. For a few moments there was silence. Then a series of irregular knocks began. ``Are you present?'' said the medium.
The affirmative raps were twice given.
``I should think,'' said the doctor, ``that there were two spirits present.''
His words sent a thrill through my heart.
``Are there two?'' he questioned.
A double rap.
``Yes, two,'' said the medium. ``Will it please the spirits to make us conscious of their names in this world?''
A single knock. ``No.''
``Will it please them to say how they are called in the world of spirits?''
Again came the irregular raps--3, 4, 8, 6; then a pause, and 3, 4, 8, 7.
``I think,'' said the authoress, ``they must be numbers. Will the spirits,'' she said, ``be good enough to aid us? Shall we use the alphabet?''
``Yes,'' was rapped very quickly.
``Are these numbers?''
``Yes,'' again.
``I will write them,'' she added, and, doing so, took up the card and tapped the letters. The spelling was pretty rapid, and ran thus as she tapped, in turn, first the letters, and last the numbers she had already set down:
``UNITED STATES ARMY MEDICAL MUSEUM, Nos. 3486, 3487.''
The medium looked up with a puzzled expression.
``Good gracious!'' said I, ``they are MY LEGS --MY LEGS!''
What followed, I ask no one to believe except those who, like myself, have communed with the things of another sphere. Suddenly I felt a strange return of my self- consciousness. I was reindividualized, so to speak. A strange wonder filled me, and, to the amazement of every one, I arose, and, staggering a little, walked across the room on limbs invisible to them or me. It was no wonder I staggered, for, as I briefly reflected, my legs had been nine months in the strongest alcohol. At this instant all my new friends crowded around me in astonishment. Presently, however, I felt myself sinking slowly. My legs were going, and in a moment I was resting feebly on my two stumps upon the floor. It was too much. All that was left of me fainted and rolled over senseless.
I have little to add. I am now at home in the West, surrounded by every form of kindness and every possible comfort; but alas! I have so little surety of being myself that I doubt my own honesty in drawing my pension, and feel absolved from gratitude to those who are kind to a being who is uncertain of being enough himself to be conscientiously responsible. It is needless to add that I am not a happy fraction of a man, and that I am eager for the day when I shall rejoin the lost members of my corporeal family in another and a happier world.
End
The medium sat with her arms folded, looking steadily at the center of the table. For a few moments there was silence. Then a series of irregular knocks began. ``Are you present?'' said the medium.
The affirmative raps were twice given.
``I should think,'' said the doctor, ``that there were two spirits present.''
His words sent a thrill through my heart.
``Are there two?'' he questioned.
A double rap.
``Yes, two,'' said the medium. ``Will it please the spirits to make us conscious of their names in this world?''
A single knock. ``No.''
``Will it please them to say how they are called in the world of spirits?''
Again came the irregular raps--3, 4, 8, 6; then a pause, and 3, 4, 8, 7.
``I think,'' said the authoress, ``they must be numbers. Will the spirits,'' she said, ``be good enough to aid us? Shall we use the alphabet?''
``Yes,'' was rapped very quickly.
``Are these numbers?''
``Yes,'' again.
``I will write them,'' she added, and, doing so, took up the card and tapped the letters. The spelling was pretty rapid, and ran thus as she tapped, in turn, first the letters, and last the numbers she had already set down:
``UNITED STATES ARMY MEDICAL MUSEUM, Nos. 3486, 3487.''
The medium looked up with a puzzled expression.
``Good gracious!'' said I, ``they are MY LEGS --MY LEGS!''
What followed, I ask no one to believe except those who, like myself, have communed with the things of another sphere. Suddenly I felt a strange return of my self- consciousness. I was reindividualized, so to speak. A strange wonder filled me, and, to the amazement of every one, I arose, and, staggering a little, walked across the room on limbs invisible to them or me. It was no wonder I staggered, for, as I briefly reflected, my legs had been nine months in the strongest alcohol. At this instant all my new friends crowded around me in astonishment. Presently, however, I felt myself sinking slowly. My legs were going, and in a moment I was resting feebly on my two stumps upon the floor. It was too much. All that was left of me fainted and rolled over senseless.
I have little to add. I am now at home in the West, surrounded by every form of kindness and every possible comfort; but alas! I have so little surety of being myself that I doubt my own honesty in drawing my pension, and feel absolved from gratitude to those who are kind to a being who is uncertain of being enough himself to be conscientiously responsible. It is needless to add that I am not a happy fraction of a man, and that I am eager for the day when I shall rejoin the lost members of my corporeal family in another and a happier world.
End