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The Beast Within - Emile Zola [120]

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no instinctive desire to fling her across his back, dead, like some trophy won in battle. No longer did he feel the need to avenge those ancient wrongs done from time immemorial, or sense the accumulated bitterness passed down from man to man since the first infidelity in the dark recesses of some primeval cave. Possessing Séverine was like a magic spell. She had cured him. He saw her as someone different, someone who for all her weakness was capable of violence, someone whose hands were steeped in blood. It was this that had protected her, like a fearsome coat of armour. She had overcome him. He had not dared lay hands on her. When he once more took her in his arms, it was with a feeling of deep indebtedness, and a desire to surrender himself to her totally.

Séverine likewise abandoned herself to him, happy to be released from the doubts which had beset her and which now seemed so pointless. Why had she denied him for so long? She should have yielded to him as she had promised herself she would; it could bring her only pleasure and delight. She knew now that this was what she had always wanted, even when it had seemed so good to wait. She needed to be loved body and soul, with a love that was steadfast and true. What she had endured, the horrors she had been drawn into, were too terrible for words. Life had treated her cruelly, viciously, dragging her through the mud and drawing her into crime. Her beautiful blue eyes, so innocent and appealing beneath her tragic crown of black hair, had a permanently frightened look about them. In spite of everything, she had remained virgin.3 And now she had given herself for the first time, to a man she adored. She wanted to lose herself in him. She wanted to be his slave. She was his. He could make use of her as he wished.

‘Take me, my darling,’ she begged him. ‘I am yours for ever. I want only what you want.’

‘No, my dearest,’ he answered. ‘It is for you to command. I am here but to love and obey you.’

Hours went by. The rain had stopped falling long since. A great silence hung over the station. All that could be heard was the distant murmur of the sea. They were still in each other’s arms when a shot rang out. They sprang to their feet in alarm. Day was just beginning to break; a patch of pale light whitened the sky above the mouth of the Seine. What was that shot? They should not have stayed so long. It was madness. They had a sudden vision of Roubaud chasing after them with a revolver.

‘Stay where you are,’ said Jacques. ‘I’ll go and see what’s happening.’

He cautiously advanced towards the door. Outside it was still dark. He could hear the sound of men running towards them. He recognized Roubaud’s voice shouting to the night watchmen, telling them that there were three intruders and that he’d seen them stealing coal. For the past few weeks hardly a night had gone by without him having hallucinations about imaginary thieves. On this occasion something had suddenly alarmed him, and he had fired at random in the dark.

‘Quick! We can’t stay here,’ whispered Jacques. ‘They’ll search the shed. You must go home.’

They flung themselves into each other’s arms in a passionate embrace. Then Séverine ran quickly along the side of the engine shed, hidden by the high wall, while Jacques crept out quietly and hid himself amongst the coal stacks. They were only just in time, for, as Jacques had predicted, Roubaud did want to search the tool-shed. He was sure that that was where the intruders were. The watchmen’s lamps swung to and fro. There were some angry exchanges, and then they all went back towards the station, annoyed at having wasted their time.

Jacques decided that the coast was clear and was just setting off back to his room in the Rue François-Mazeline when he almost collided with Pecqueux, who was hastily doing up his clothes and swearing furiously under his breath.

‘What’s up with you?’ asked Jacques.

‘Don’t ask,’ replied Pecqueux. ‘Those bloody fools woke Sauvagnat up, and he heard me in bed with his sister. He came down in his nightshirt, and I had to get out through the

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