The Bell - Iris Murdoch [110]
Paul seemed nonplussed. He said to Nick, "Oh, good evening, Fawley.' Paul was the only person who addressed Nick in this manner. 'I was just wondering if my wife was here.'
Nick, who had shown a little surprise, Michael thought, at his own arrival, was now smiling in his characteristic grimacing manner. With his greasy curling hair and his grimy white shirt, unbuttoned, and his long legs sticking straight out under the table he looked like some minor Dickensian rake. He reached for the bottle, and raised his eyebrows, possibly to express the slightly patronizing amazement, which Michael had often felt, too, at the frankness with which Paul revealed his matrimonial difficulties.
'Good morning, Greenfield,' said Nick. 'No, she ain't here. Why should she be? Have a drink?'
Paul said irritably, 'Thank you, no, I never take whisky.'
'Michael?' said Nick.
Michael jumped at his name, and took a moment to realize what Nick meant. He shook his head.
'Is Toby upstairs?' said Paul.
Nick went on smiling at him and kept him waiting for the answer. Then he said, 'No. He ain't here either.'
'Do you mind if I look upstairs?' said Paul. He pushed through the room.
Michael, who was just beginning to realize that Paul was in fact in a frantic state, found himself left alone with Nick. He cast a glance at him without smiling. He was fairly frantic himself.
Nick smiled. 'One of the deadly sins,' he said.
'What?' said Michael.
'Jealousy,' said Nick.
Paul's feet were heard on the stairs. He came blundering back into the living-room.
'Satisfied?' said Nick.
Paul did not reply to this, but stood in the middle of the room, his face wrinkled up with anxiety. He said to Nick:
'Do you know where he is?'
'Gashe?' said Nick. 'No. I am not Gashe's keeper.'
Paul stood irresolutely for a moment, and then turned to go. As he passed Michael he paused. 'It was odd what you said about a bell.'
'Why?' said Michael.
'Because there's a legend about this place. I meant to tell you. The sound of a bell portends a death.'
'Did you hear that strange sound a little while ago?' Michael asked Nick.
'I heard nothing,' said Nick.
Paul stumped out of the door and began walking back along the drive.
Michael stayed where he was. He felt very tired and confused. If Nick would only have stayed quiet he would like to have sat with Mm for a while in silence. But those were all mad thoughts.
'Have a drink?' said Nick.
'No thanks, Nick,' said Michael. He found it very hard not to look at Nick. A solemn face seemed hostile and a smiling face provocative. He cast a rather twisted smile in his direction and then looked away.
Nick got up and came towards Michael. Michael stiffened as he approached. For a moment he thought Nick was going to come right up to him and touch him. But he stopped about two feet away, still smiling. Michael looked at him fully now. He wished he could drive that smile off his face. He had a strong impulse to reach out and put his two hands on Nick's shoulders. The sound that had awakened him, the moonlight, the madness of the night, made him feel suddenly that communication between them was now permitted. His whole body was aware, almost to trembling, of the proximity of his friend. Perhaps after all this was the moment at which he should in some way remove the barrier which he had set up between them. No good had come of it. And the fact remained, as he deeply realized in this moment, for whatever it meant and whatever it was worth, that he loved Nick. Some good might yet come of that.
'Nick,' Michael began.
Speaking almost at the same time Nick said, 'Don't you want to know where Toby is?"
Michael flinched at the question. He hoped his face was without expression. He said, 'Well, where is he?'
'He's in the wood making love to Dora,' said Nick.
'How do you know?'
'I saw them.'
'I don't believe you,' said Michael. But he did believe. He added, 'Anyway, it's no business of mine.' That was foolish, since on any view of the matter it was his business.
Nick stepped