The Best of Me - Nicholas Sparks [9]
“Is that what you want?” she whispered, her voice ragged.
He pulled her closer, slipping his arms around her. “I just want you to be happy,” he whispered.
She’d leaned into him then, resting her head on his shoulder. As he held her, he’d never hated himself more for being born a Cole.
“I’m happiest when I’m with you,” she finally murmured.
Later that night they made love for the first time. And for the next two decades and beyond, he carried those words and the memories of that night inside him, knowing that she had been speaking for them both.
After landing in Charlotte, Dawson flung his duffel bag and suit over his shoulder and walked through the terminal, barely registering the activity around him as he sifted through memories of his final summer with Amanda. That spring, she’d received notice of her acceptance to Duke, a dream of hers since she’d been a little girl. The specter of her departure, coupled with the isolation from her family and friends, only intensified their desire to pass as much time together as possible. They spent hours at the beach and took long drives while the radio blasted, or they simply hung around Tuck’s garage. They swore little would change after she left; either he’d drive to Durham or she’d come back to visit. Amanda had no doubt that they’d find a way to somehow make it work.
Her parents, however, had other plans. On a Saturday morning in August, a little more than a week before she was supposed to leave for Durham, they cornered her before she was able to escape the house. Her mom did all the talking, though she knew her father stood firmly in agreement.
“This has gone on long enough,” her mother began, and in a voice that was surprisingly calm, she told Amanda that if she continued to see Dawson, she would have to move out of the house in September and start paying her own bills, and they wouldn’t pay for her to attend college, either. “Why should we waste money on college when you’re throwing your life away?”
When Amanda started to protest, her mother talked right over her.
“He’ll drag you down, Amanda, but right now you’re too young to understand that. So if you want the freedom of being an adult, you’ll also have to assume the responsibilities. Ruin your life by staying with Dawson—we’re not going to stop you. But we’re not going to help you, either.”
Amanda ran straight out of the house, her only thought to find Dawson. By the time she reached the garage, she was crying so hard she couldn’t speak. Dawson held her close, letting bits and pieces of the story trickle out as her sobs finally subsided.
“We’ll move in together,” she said, her cheeks still damp.
“Where?” he asked her. “Here? In the garage?”
“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out.”
Dawson remained silent, studying the floor. “You need to go to college,” he finally told her.
“I don’t care about college,” Amanda protested. “I care about you.”
He let his arms fall to his sides. “I care about you, too. And that’s why I can’t take this from you,” he said.
She shook her head, bewildered. “You’re not taking anything from me. It’s my parents. They’re treating me like I’m still a little girl.”
“It’s because of me, and we both know that.” He kicked at the dirt. “If you love someone, you’re supposed to let them go, right?”
For the first time, her eyes flashed. “And if they come back, it’s meant to be? Is that what you think this is? Some sort of cliche?” She grabbed his arm, her fingers digging into him. “We’re not a cliche,” she said. “We’ll find a way to make it work. I can get a job as a waitress or whatever, and we can rent a place.”
He kept his voice calm, willing it not to break. “How? You think my dad is going to stop what he’s doing?”
“We can move somewhere else.”
“Where? With what? I have nothing. Don’t you understand that?” He let the words hang, and when she didn’t answer, he finally went on. “I’m just trying to be realistic. This is your life we’re talking about. And… I can’t be part of it anymore.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying your parents are right.