The Birds [12]
is
disgraceful and forbidden by law on earth is on the contrary
honourable among us, the birds. For instance, among you it's a crime
to beat your father, but with us it's an estimable deed; it's
considered fine to run straight at your father and hit him, saying,
"Come, lift your spur if you want to fight." The runaway slave, whom
you brand, is only a spotted francolin with us. Are you Phrygian
like Spintharus? Among us you would be the Phrygian bird, the
goldfinch, of the race of Philemon. Are you a slave and a Carian
like Execestides? Among us you can create yourself fore-fathers; you
can always find relations. Does the son of Pisias want to betray the
gates of the city to the foe? Let him become a partridge, the
fitting offspring of his father; among us there is no shame in
escaping as cleverly as a partridge.
SECOND SEMI-CHORUS (singing)
So the swans on the banks of the Hebrus, tiotiotiotiotiotinx,
mingle their voices to serenade Apollo, tiotiotiotinx, flapping
their wings the while, tiotiotiotinx; their notes reach beyond the
clouds of heaven; they startle the various tribes of the beasts; a
windles sky calms the waves, totototototototototinx; all Olympus
resounds, and astonishment seizes its rulers; the Olympian graces
and Muses cry aloud the strain, tiotiotiotinx.
LEADER OF SECOND SEMI-CHORUS
There is nothing more useful nor more pleasant than to have wings.
To begin with, just let us suppose a spectator to be dying with hunger
and to be weary of the choruses of the tragic poets; if he were
winged, he would fly off, go home to dine and come back with his
stomach filled. Some Patroclides, needing to take a crap, would not
have to spill it out on his cloak, but could fly off, satisfy his
requirements, let a few farts and, having recovered his breath,
return. If one of you, it matters not who, had adulterous relations
and saw the husband of his mistress in the seats of the senators, he
might stretch his wings, fly to her, and, having laid her, resume
his place. Is it not the most priceless gift of all, to be winged?
Look at Diitrephes! His wings were only wicker-work ones, and yet he
got himself chosen Phylarch and then Hipparch; from being nobody, he
has risen to be famous; he's now the finest gilded cock of his tribe.
(PITHETAERUS and EUELPIDES return; they now have wings.)
PITHETAERUS
Halloa! What's this? By Zeus! I never saw anything so funny in all
my life.
EUELPIDES
What makes you laugh?
PITHETAERUS
Your little wings. D'you know what you look like? Like a goose
painted by some dauber.
EUELPIDES
And you look like a close-shaven blackbird.
PITHETAERUS
We ourselves asked for this transformation, and, as Aeschylus
has it, "These are no borrowed feathers, but truly our own."
EPOPS
Come now, what must be done?
PITHETAERUS
First give our city a great and famous name, then sacrifice to the
gods.
EUELPIDES
I think so too.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Let's see. What shall our city be called?
PITHETAERUS
Will you have a high-sounding Laconian name? Shall we call it
Sparta?
EUELPIDES
What! call my town Sparta? Why, I would not use esparto for my
bed, even though I had nothing but bands of rushes.
PITHETAERUS
Well then, what name can you suggest?
EUELPIDES
Some name borrowed from the clouds, from these lofty regions in
which we dwell-in short, some well-known name.
PITHETAERUS
Do you like Nephelococcygia?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh! capital! truly that's a brilliant thought!
EUELPIDES
Is it in Nephelococcygia that all the wealth of Theogenes and most
of Aeschines' is?
PITHETAERUS
No, it's rather the plain of Phlegra, where the gods withered
the pride of the sons of the Earth with their shafts.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh! what a splendid city! But what god shall be its
disgraceful and forbidden by law on earth is on the contrary
honourable among us, the birds. For instance, among you it's a crime
to beat your father, but with us it's an estimable deed; it's
considered fine to run straight at your father and hit him, saying,
"Come, lift your spur if you want to fight." The runaway slave, whom
you brand, is only a spotted francolin with us. Are you Phrygian
like Spintharus? Among us you would be the Phrygian bird, the
goldfinch, of the race of Philemon. Are you a slave and a Carian
like Execestides? Among us you can create yourself fore-fathers; you
can always find relations. Does the son of Pisias want to betray the
gates of the city to the foe? Let him become a partridge, the
fitting offspring of his father; among us there is no shame in
escaping as cleverly as a partridge.
SECOND SEMI-CHORUS (singing)
So the swans on the banks of the Hebrus, tiotiotiotiotiotinx,
mingle their voices to serenade Apollo, tiotiotiotinx, flapping
their wings the while, tiotiotiotinx; their notes reach beyond the
clouds of heaven; they startle the various tribes of the beasts; a
windles sky calms the waves, totototototototototinx; all Olympus
resounds, and astonishment seizes its rulers; the Olympian graces
and Muses cry aloud the strain, tiotiotiotinx.
LEADER OF SECOND SEMI-CHORUS
There is nothing more useful nor more pleasant than to have wings.
To begin with, just let us suppose a spectator to be dying with hunger
and to be weary of the choruses of the tragic poets; if he were
winged, he would fly off, go home to dine and come back with his
stomach filled. Some Patroclides, needing to take a crap, would not
have to spill it out on his cloak, but could fly off, satisfy his
requirements, let a few farts and, having recovered his breath,
return. If one of you, it matters not who, had adulterous relations
and saw the husband of his mistress in the seats of the senators, he
might stretch his wings, fly to her, and, having laid her, resume
his place. Is it not the most priceless gift of all, to be winged?
Look at Diitrephes! His wings were only wicker-work ones, and yet he
got himself chosen Phylarch and then Hipparch; from being nobody, he
has risen to be famous; he's now the finest gilded cock of his tribe.
(PITHETAERUS and EUELPIDES return; they now have wings.)
PITHETAERUS
Halloa! What's this? By Zeus! I never saw anything so funny in all
my life.
EUELPIDES
What makes you laugh?
PITHETAERUS
Your little wings. D'you know what you look like? Like a goose
painted by some dauber.
EUELPIDES
And you look like a close-shaven blackbird.
PITHETAERUS
We ourselves asked for this transformation, and, as Aeschylus
has it, "These are no borrowed feathers, but truly our own."
EPOPS
Come now, what must be done?
PITHETAERUS
First give our city a great and famous name, then sacrifice to the
gods.
EUELPIDES
I think so too.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Let's see. What shall our city be called?
PITHETAERUS
Will you have a high-sounding Laconian name? Shall we call it
Sparta?
EUELPIDES
What! call my town Sparta? Why, I would not use esparto for my
bed, even though I had nothing but bands of rushes.
PITHETAERUS
Well then, what name can you suggest?
EUELPIDES
Some name borrowed from the clouds, from these lofty regions in
which we dwell-in short, some well-known name.
PITHETAERUS
Do you like Nephelococcygia?
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh! capital! truly that's a brilliant thought!
EUELPIDES
Is it in Nephelococcygia that all the wealth of Theogenes and most
of Aeschines' is?
PITHETAERUS
No, it's rather the plain of Phlegra, where the gods withered
the pride of the sons of the Earth with their shafts.
LEADER OF THE CHORUS
Oh! what a splendid city! But what god shall be its