The Black Dagger Brotherhood_ An Insider's Guide - J. R. Ward [128]
Zsadist appeared behind her in the shadows, taking shape from thin air, darkening the darkness with his black clothes and his weapons and his mood.
Or maybe he’d been there all along and only now chose to reveal himself. She stumbled back, banging into one of the marble walls with her hip. As she cursed and rubbed the sore spot, she refiled through her vocabulary for all the ways to tell him to go to hell.
And then she smelled him. His bonding scent was strong.
Z stayed silent, but it wasn’t like he needed to say much. She could feel his eyes. Could see the golden glow out of the corner he was in.
She knew exactly why he was staring at her. And couldn’t believe it.
Bella backed even farther away, until she hit the shower door. “What do you want?”
Wrong words, she thought, as he stepped into the light.
As she saw his body, her mouth went lax.
“I want to mate,” he said in a low voice. And he was more than ready.
“You think . . . Christ, you think I’d lay with you now? You’re deranged.”
“No, I’m psychotic. At least, that’s the clinical diagnosis.” As he took off his dagger holster, the door shut behind him and the lock turned. Because he willed them to do so.
“You’re going to have to force me.”
“No, I won’t.” His hands went to the gun belt at his hips.
Bella stared at what was straining against his leathers. And wanted it.
God, she wished he would hold her down and not give her a choice. That way, she could be absolved of what she was about to do and hate him more deeply. She could . . .
Z came forward until he was right in front of her. In the straining silence between them, his chest lifted and compressed. “I’m sorry I’m a bastard. And I wouldn’t be pushing you at Phury if I didn’t think it was the right thing for both of you.”
“Are you apologizing just because you want to be with me right now?”
“Yes. But it’s true anyway.”
“So if you weren’t hard at the moment, you’d just let me go?”
“Think of this as good-bye, Bella. The last time.”
She closed her eyes and felt the heat coming off him. And when he put his hands on her, she didn’t jump. As his palms locked on her throat and tilted her head back, her mouth opened because it had to.
Or at least, that was what she told herself.
Z’s tongue pushed inside of her as his hips came up against her lower belly. As they kissed there was a ripping sound—her shirt as he tore it in half.
“Zsadist,” she said hoarsely when he went for the button on her jeans. “Stop.”
“No.”
His mouth dropped down to her breast and her pants hit the floor and then he lifted her up and carried her over to the counter. He was purring loudly now as he forced her knees apart with his head and knelt before her, his eyes fixated on her sex.
So he knew exactly how turned-on she was.
Bella put her hands between him and where he was going.
“Zsadist, if you do this, I will never forgive you.”
“I can live with that.” He moved her arms away easily, trapping her wrists. “If it means I can be with you this last time.”
“Why the hell do you care so much?”
He pulled her hands forward, flipping them around so they faced upward. When he stared downward, he shook his head. “Phury didn’t feed from you, did he. No marks on your neck. Your wrists.”
“There’s still time.”
“He said you couldn’t bear it.”
Great, that was the last thing she needed Zsadist to know.
“And this is my punishment?” she said bitterly. “You’re going to force me—”
Z dove down to her, his mouth going straight to her core. With all his demand, she expected him to eat at her, but instead the soft strokes of his lips were so loving they brought tears to her eyes. As he released her hands, her cheeks went wet, and she held on to his head, bringing him closer still.
His eyes stared up at her while she climaxed against his tongue, watching her as if storing precious memories.
“Let me take you to the bed.”
She nodded as he came up her body and buried his glossy