The Black Raven - Katharine Kerr [132]
“I’ve got no one to talk with,” Lilli said aloud. “Oh Goddess, what have I done?”
Sunset touched the sky with flame, but still Maryn didn’t come. At last, when she could see the first star blooming in the pale evening sky, the door opened. She spun around just as he slipped in, carrying a candle lantern.
“I brought you some fire,” he said. “It’s growing cold out, Lilli, and so you’d best light that wood I see in your hearth.”
“My thanks, my prince. It’s so wonderful to see you.”
“Is it?” Maryn set the lantern down on the mantel. “I can’t stay but a few moments.”
Tears came before she could stop them and slid down her cheeks. Maryn crossed the room in a few quick strides and enfolded her in his arms. She clung to him while he stroked her hair.
“Forgive me. My days aren’t my own anymore.”
“I know.” At last she managed to staunch the shameful tears. “Of course.”
He kissed her, but she could feel the distance he’d set between them. With a long sigh he let her go.
“I’d best be off,” Maryn said. “Till tomorrow afternoon, my lady. I’ll do my best to get away then.”
“That will be splendid.”
Maryn kissed her one last time and left. For a moment she stood looking at the closed door. This is what being the king’s mistress will mean, she thought. Waiting and waiting for the few moments the wretched kingdom will let him give me! Her heart seemed to chill and sink within her. And yet, even in the midst of his delicate maneuvers, devolving the Cerrmor rhan, trying to outguess the king of Eldidd—even then he had worried about her being cold. She’d never known another lord who would have done the same.
She took the candle lantern and knelt by the hearth, extracted the burning candle, and touched it to the waiting tinder. The straw caught with a crackle; a fine web of fire blazed over the kindling, which smoked, then caught as well. Lilli sat back on her heels and returned the candle to the lantern. The smaller logs were beginning to burn, and the warmth swept over her. Salamanders appeared to caper in the flames. She got up and went to her window to close the shutters, but lingered to see the night sky deepen to a field of stars. She wondered if Maryn would come to her on the morrow or if she’d watch the stars alone then, too.
Her days devolved into a tedious pattern of waiting for one man or another. In the mornings she could walk abroad, but in the afternoons she waited for her prince. Maryn sent notes, and occasionally he came to her chamber for a few quick words and kisses. Nevyn was much concerned with the priests of Bel and their stubborn refusal to name a day when Maryn would become king. Without her dweomer work, all Lilli could do was read lore, and whilst the dweomer demands a great deal of memorizing, lore work alone can chill the soul. Nevyn at least would appear at the end of the day. They would eat together while they discussed her reading and her health.
“The weather’s getting quite cold,” Nevyn said one evening. “You should spend as little time outside as possible.”
“Ah ye gods! I’ll go mad!”
Nevyn raised one bushy eyebrow.
“It’s so awful,” Lilli went on, “sitting here alone all day.”
“Why don’t you go join the other women?”
“And face the princess?”
“Lilli, Bellyra blames you for naught.”
Lilli picked up a slice of bread and broke it in half.
“Come now,” Nevyn said. “Ask Elyssa if you don’t believe me.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. Maryn’s asked me to wait here for him in case he can get away.”
“It would do him good to show up here one day and find you gone.”
“But then I’d miss my chance to see him.”
Nevyn rolled his eyes heavenward.
“Things