The Black Raven - Katharine Kerr [98]
“Well, do you think I don’t know?” Bellyra snapped. “My husband hasn’t seen fit to invite me to his new demesne, has he? He’s not so much as mentioned my joining him in Dun Deverry now that he has the victory.”
No one spoke, no one moved. Bellyra felt tears running down her face. All at once she could no longer bear the sight of any of them.
“Leave me alone!” She knew that she was screaming and no longer cared. “Go away, all of you! Just go away and leave me alone!”
The nursemaids jumped up and scooped up the children. The other women rose more slowly, but at a sign from Nevyn they left as well, following the servant girls back to the dun. Nevyn sat himself down on the bench.
“I’m not leaving,” he said. “Why don’t you join me?”
The tears had stopped. Bellyra wiped her face on the silk sleeve of her dress, then sat back down in her chair.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For what? Speaking the truths of your heart?”
“A princess isn’t supposed to have a heart. If she had a second womb instead the men would be well pleased.”
Nevyn winced.
“Well,” Bellyra went on. “Do you think I’m wrong?”
“I’ve never lied to you, have I? I told you from the first that your position was a difficult one.”
“So you did.” She held up the codex. “I wrote that down, too, all those years ago. I suppose I’ve no right to complain. It was exceptionally stupid of me to fall in love with my husband. Most women in my position have the good sense to avoid that particular trap, but then, most of them have rather repellent husbands, so it’s easier for them.”
Nevyn laughed, and after a moment, she smiled.
“If you didn’t have so much common sense,” Nevyn said, “your life would be easier. You could find comfort in throwing fits.”
“Mayhap, mayhap not. I’ve no mind to try.”
“I certainly do understand how it must rankle, sitting here in Cerrmor and wondering when you’ll be summoned.”
Bellyra nodded, sighed, looked away at the green view, glowing in the sun.
“I’m also truly sorry you’ve been ill,” Nevyn went on.
“So am I. But you know, I do think it’s beginning to pass off.”
“I cannot tell you how much that gladdens my heart to hear.”
“If my monthly bleeding would only start again!”
“It will. The Goddess hasn’t cursed you. You have my word on that.”
Bellyra managed a smile.
“And I’ll tell you somewhat,” Nevyn went on, “and it’s the very soul of truth and not some fancy I’m telling you for comfort’s sake. Maryn hasn’t sent for you because he worries about your well-being. Dun Deverry’s a grim place, as shabby as a hunting lodge after all these years of war, and the fighting’s not yet over. He told me in so many words that he’d not risk you in any way.”
“Oh!” Bellyra felt tears threaten, but she managed to choke them back. “Really?”
“Really. Maryn has the greatest respect for you. He told me that he values your opinion above those of ten men. I know it’s not what you’d hoped for, but—”
“But it’s a far greater thing than most noble wives are ever offered. I’m mindful of that, Nevyn. Truly I am.”
He smiled, but sadly. Bellyra rose, holding her book in one hand and smoothing down her dress with the other. He got up to join her.
“Shall we go in?” she said. “You must be weary after your journey.”
“I wouldn’t mind getting out of this sun. It’s blazing out here.”
“I suppose it is. Often I feel so cold, no matter where I am.” When she looked around, the world seemed to have turned flat and pale, as if some demon had sucked all the color from it. “But truly, I’m ready to go in.”
“That’s what we’ve come to fetch,” Nevyn said, pointing.
“I thought it might be,” Lilli said.
The silver casket, engraved with a design of roses, sat gleaming in the sunlight on the table. Although Wildfolk swarmed all over the women’s hall, they refused to go anywhere near the casket itself. Other than the Wildfolk, Nevyn and Lilli had the big sunny room to themselves. Bellyra was sleeping, and Elyssa