The Blood Knight - J. Gregory Keyes [132]
And he would have none of it.
No, any such hopes for himself were dead, but there was his music. Yes, he might still accomplish something if he was willing to destroy himself. And there was so little left to destroy, it was almost a pleasure.
No fall to the rocks for him. Back to the paper and ink.
He’d just begun the next progression when he heard a light knock at his door. He stared at it blankly for a moment, struggling to remember the significance of the sound. He was sure he should know; it was like a word almost remembered, stuck at the bottom of the throat.
It happened again, slightly louder this time, and he got it.
“Come in if you wish,” he said finally.
The door creaked open slowly, revealing Areana, and for a long moment he couldn’t speak. The pain in him fled as shadows flee light, and he had a sudden happy memory of his first meeting with her at the ball in Lady Gramme’s mansion. They’d danced; he could remember the music, a country dance known as a whervel. He hadn’t known the steps, but she had shown him easily enough.
She stood framed in the doorway like a painting by a master of the brush, her blue kirtle glowing in the moonlight, the darkness of the hall behind her. Her red-gold hair seemed molten, dark, sensuous.
“Leoff,” she said tentatively. “Have I come at a bad time?”
“Areana,” he managed to croak. “No, please. Come in. Find yourself a seat.” He tried to push back his disheveled hair and nearly stabbed himself in the eye with the pen. Sighing, he let his hands drop to his sides.
“It’s just—you haven’t been coming out,” she said, walking across the room to stand beside him. “I’m worried about you. Are they keeping you confined?”
“No, I have freedom to roam the castle,” Leoff said. “Or so I’m told. I haven’t tested it.”
“Well, you should,” she said. “You can’t spend all your time up here.”
“Well,” he said, “I’ve a lot of work to do.”
“Yes, I know,” she said, smiling. “Your singspell about Maersca.” She stepped closer and lowered her voice to a conspiratorial level. “And what will you do this time? Really?”
“Exactly what he asked.”
He dark eyes widened. “Do you think I would betray you?”
“No,” he said. “You’ve been very brave about all this. I never got a chance to tell you how perfect your singing was that night. It was a miracle.”
“The miracle was the music,” Areana said. “I felt—I thought I was her, Leoff. I really did. My heart was breaking, and when I leapt from the window, I felt I would die. There is so much magic in you…”
She reached to stroke his face. He was too stunned to react until she touched him, and then he jerked away.
“What they did to you…” She sighed.
“Yes, well, I knew it could happen,” he said. “But I promised you better. I’m so sorry.”
“No, you warned me,” she said. “You warned us all, and we were all with you. We believed in you.” She moved nearer, and her breath was sweet. “I still believe in you. I want to help with whatever it is you’re really doing.”
“I told you,” he murmured. Her hand was warm, and if he moved his face a fraction, he could kiss it. A small movement more and he could reach her lips.
But he couldn’t put his hand against hers. Not like this. So he turned away slightly.
“I’m doing what he asked,” he said. “Nothing more.”
She withdrew her hand and stepped back. “You can’t,” she said. “Don’t fool with me.”
“I must. He’ll kill you and Mery,” he replied. “Don’t you understand?”
“You can’t give in because of me,” she said.
“Oh,” he replied. “Oh, yes—yes I can. And I will.”
“Don’t you think he’ll kill us, anyway?”
“No,” Leoff said, “I don’t think he will. That would undo everything. He’s trying to win your family—and the other landwaerden—back to him.”
“Yes, but the truth is that you were tortured, then forced to do this. Prince Robert can’t allow that fact to get out. And yet there are three of us who know. Not to mention what they did to—well, never mind. Do you really think we can be allowed to survive, knowing what we know?”
“We’ve a better chance