The Blood Knight - J. Gregory Keyes [200]
“You’ve made me quite foolish, you know,” she said, her voice sounding thick. “Quite foolish.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“That makes it worse. Why didn’t you tell me about you and Lady Gramme? I should have guessed, I suppose. She was your patron, and she is beautiful, and skilled, and you get along famously with Mery.”
“No,” Leoff said. “I…there was nothing to tell until the other night. She came—I was unprepared…”
She laughed resentfully. “Oh, yes, and so was I. And there’s no hiding I had the same idea. I thought I might ease your pain and I—” She began crying and gulped.
“Areana?”
“I was a virgin, you know. Not so fashionable in Eslen, but out in the poellands it’s still something to be…” She waved her hands helplessly. “Anyway, that’s gone. But I thought if I was with someone kind and gentle, someone who wouldn’t try to hurt me, I might wash it away, what…”
She leaned her arm on the windowsill and buried her face in it. He watched her helplessly, then reached out and stroked her hair.
“I wish it hadn’t happened,” he said. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know,” she sobbed. “And I expect too much. Who would touch me now?”
“I’m touching you,” he said. “Here, look at me.”
She raised her tear-streaked face.
“I think you were right,” he admitted, “about how I feel about you. But there’s something you need to understand. What they did to me in the dungeons—it changed me. I don’t just mean my body or my hands; it altered me inside. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. For so long, for so very long, I’ve been able to see no better end for all of this than revenge. It’s all I’ve really thought about. It’s all I’ve been planning. In the dungeon, I met a man; well, I heard his voice, anyway. We spoke. He told me that in Safnia, where he’s from, vengeance is considered an art, something to be done well and savored. It made sense to me, I have to say, to make Robert pay for the things he’s done. The other music I’ve been working on—that’s my revenge.”
“What do you mean?”
He closed his eyes, knowing he ought not to tell her but plunging on anyway.
“There are more than eight modes,” he said softly. “There are a few others so forbidden that they are spoken of only in whispers, even in the academies. You saw—you felt—the effect of music when it’s properly composed. We not only were able to create and control emotion, we made it literally impossible for anyone to stop us until we were done.
“That was using mostly the modes we know, but what made that piece so very powerful was my rediscovery—Mery’s rediscovery, really, come to that—of a very ancient forbidden mode. And now I’ve found another, one not used since the days of the Black Jester.”
“What does it do?”
“It can do many things. But a properly structured piece, when performed, might kill anyone who heard it.”
She frowned and searched his face with such a gaze that he knew she was looking for signs of madness.
“This is true?” she said finally.
“I haven’t tested it, of course, but yes, I believe it is.”
“If I hadn’t been there, if I hadn’t been part of the music in the Candlegrove, I don’t imagine I would believe you,” she said. “But as it is, I think you could do almost anything if you put your mind to it. So that’s what you’ve been working on?”
“Yes. To kill Prince Robert.”
“But that’s—” Her eyes narrowed. “But you can’t play.”
“I know. That’s been a problem all along. Robert can play, however. I had thought if I kept the mechanics of it simple enough, he might actually do it himself.”
“But more likely Mery would play it.”
“In which case I had thought to stuff her ears with wax,” Leoff said. “You understand, I agree with you—I always did. I think he plans to kill all three of us. I hoped to give the two of you a chance, but if I couldn’t…”
“You thought you’d take him with us.”
“Yes.”
“But what’s changed?”
“I’ve stopped working on it,” he said. “I shan’t finish it.”
“Why?”
“Because I have hope now,” he said. “And even if that fails…”
“Hope?”
“For something better than revenge.”
“What?