The Blood Knight - J. Gregory Keyes [62]
“I’m just talking,” Aspar said. “I’m just happy to be on the trail.”
“What else did Her Majesty say?”
“That’s it—follow Stephen. Find him, protect him, help him. She said to let my own judgment be my guide. Said I was her deputy in the region, whatever that means.”
“Really? Her deputy?”
“You know what that means?”
“It’s Virgenyan. Means you carry the same authority she does—that she’ll vouch for you. I don’t suppose she gave you any way of proving your authority.”
Aspar laughed. “Like what? A sealed letter, a ring, or a scepter? The girl was chased halfway around the world, and from what I understand, most of that time she only had the clothes on her back. I reckon it’ll be sorted out later, if it needs sorting out.
“Anyway, at the moment, I maunt having her authority doesn’t mean too much, yah? They may be callin’ her a queen, but she’s not one yet.”
“Werlic,” Winna murmured under her breath. “There’s that way of looking at it.”
They rode on in silence for a few moments. Aspar wasn’t certain what to say; every time he glanced at her, Winna appeared more troubled.
“Stephen and Ehawk’ll be all right,” he assured her. “We’ll find ’em. We’ve come through worse than this, the four of us.”
“Yah,” she said despondently.
He scratched his face. “Yah. They’re fine.”
She nodded but didn’t reply.
“Meantime, it’s nice. I mean, we haven’t been alone together in a while.”
She looked up at him sharply.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped.
“I…, ah, don’t know.” He felt his tumble, all right, but didn’t know what he had tripped over.
She opened her mouth, closed it, then started again. “It’s not the time now. When we find Stephen.”
“Time for what?” Aspar asked.
“Nothing.”
“Winna—”
“You’ve been cold as a post for twice a nineday,” she erupted, “and all of a sudden you’re trying to sweeten up your talk?”
“It’s kind of hard to make luvrood when so many people are around,” Aspar grunted.
“It’s not like I was expecting posies and poesy,” Winna said. “Just a squeeze of the hand and a whisper in my ear now and then. We might have died, without…” She dipped her head and clamped her lips shut.
“I have to think you knew what you were getting into when you—” He stopped, unsure of what he was going to say next.
“Threw myself at you?” she finished. “Yah. I never meant to do that. When I saw you at the Taff, I thought you were dead. I thought you had died never knowing how I felt. And when you were alive again, and we were away from everything—from my father, from the Sow’s Teat, from Colbaely altogether—I just didn’t care anymore, about consequences, about the future, none of it.”
“And now?”
“And now I still don’t care, you damned oaf. But I’m starting to wonder about you. Back when we were alone, it was wonderful. I spent half of my time terrified out of my wits, but that aside, I’ve never been happier in my life. It was just what I’d always dreamed I’d have from you: adventure, love, and good squirming in the dark.
“But add a few people to the situation, and I’m suddenly like your bothersome little sister. She comes along, so much more like you than I can ever be—”
He interrupted her. “Winna, don’t you ever want the normal things? A house? Children?”
She snorted. “I think I’ll wait until the world isn’t ending before I start a family, thanks.”
“I’m serious.”
“And so am I.” Her green eyes were all challenge. “Are you saying I can’t have those things with you?”
“I guess I never really thought about it.”
“So this is you talking out loud, without thinking close about what you’re saying?”
“Ah, I guess.”
“Yah, werlic. You’ll want to stop doing that.”
An awkward silence descended over them.
“I don’t think of you like a sister.”
“No, of course not—less than a bell alone, and you’re all after hiking up my skirt again.”
“I was just saying that I was happy to be alone with you again, is all,” Aspar said. “Just away from the others. And it’s not what you think. I’m a holter; I’ve never been anything else. It’s what I know how to do. I work alone, at my own pace, the way I want to, and