The Bobby Gold stories - Anthony Bourdain [29]
"From saucier to what? Arsonist? Home invader? Bank robber?"
"No . . . I don't know yet. I'm looking for an opportunity. To you know - steal or something. I want to steal a lot of money and then retire to the beach."
"You don't expect me to —"
"No way! Please . . . I was just sayin'."
"And I ain't setting you up with anybody either. What are you fucking thinking? Who put this shit in your head? You been talking to somebody at the Club?"
"No. I just saw a movie on TV last night. Bonnie and Clyde? It looked like fun."
"You watch the end? They get killed at the end."
"Not that part. The taking the money part. The driving around real fast in cars part."
"You'll get grabbed. Believe me. Some genius, some fellow criminal mastermind'U snitch and you'll go to prison. You don't want to go to prison. I'm telling you. You may get plenty of sex there — but the food blows."
"I know, I know. Don't worry . . . I don't know . . . I just want to do something illegal."
"You want to do something illegal?" said Bobby, standing up and taking her hand. "Come with me . . ."
He led her down the wooden ramp to the beach, walking quickly to the right, Nikki hurrying to keep up. It was slightly less crowded at the rear, mostly volleyball players waiting their turn.
"Where we going?" said Nikki.
"Just come on. We're going to do something that's illegal in all fifty states. We're gonna break the law, break the law."
"Yeah?" said Nikki, interested.
After about four hundred yards, Bobby stopped, looked around, and ducked under the boardwalk, yanking Nikki after him.
"Oh," she said. "I think I get it."
He stuck out a finger and pushed her back onto the cool sand, got down on all fours and pulled off her top.
"People can see us," she giggled.
"Public lewdness. Indecent exposure," said Bobby. He peeled down her bikini bottom, flipped her over and put his tongue up her ass. "Sodomy," he added. She jerked like she'd been hooked up to a car battery, moaned and rolled over again, grabbing Bobby's hair to pull his face into her crotch. Bobby's cock protruded almost entirely out of his Speedo. He peeled the Speedo off and lay down next to her.
"I'm gonna get sand in my cunt," she said, throwing a leg over him and working him inside. "Go away, kid!"
A teenager with a volleyball was standing transfixed, a few yards from the edge of the overhanging boardwalk. He blushed and scampered away.
"Corrupting the morals of a minor," muttered Bobby, pushing into her as far as he could go.
BOBBY GETS SQUEEZED
Bobby Gold, in black Ramones T-shirt, black denims and black Nikes, smeared bone marrow on toast and sprinkled sea salt on it before taking a large bite. His mouth was still full when the man came over and stood by his table, looking at him.
"What the fuck are you eating?"
Bobby raised an eyebrow and finished chewing. The man was tall, about forty-five, with the tired, mean face of an old cop. He wore blue slacks with knife creases, new, white running shoes, and a V-neck T-shirt with a windbreaker over it. His Glock, Bobby guessed, under his left kidney, beneath the T-shirt. There was another gun, something smaller, in an ankle holster on the right. From the man's expression, he did not look like he was going to shoot Bobby — or arrest him. At least not today.
"Bone marrow," said Bobby, swallowing. "It's wonderful."
"Yuck!" said the cop. "I can't believe you eat that shit."
Blue Ribbon Bakery on Bedford Street in the Village was not a place Bobby expected to see cops. Cops ate out in packs, usually at cop-friendly places where raised voices, heavy drinking and the occasional freebie were not unheard of. Blue Ribbon was not like that. This cop had either recognized him from his sheet - or, more likely, come looking for him. Bone marrow was a secret pleasure — something Bobby usually indulged in alone. He'd never told Eddie about the place, afraid of being embarrassed, and Nikki couldn't get through a meal without smoking, so he always came here alone. It pissed him off that the cop had clearly decided to brace