The Butterfly - James M. Cain [35]
"When did you first know Moke was my father?"
"Before you were born, even."
"And how did you know?"
"I knew I wasn't."
"You mean there had been nothing between you and Belle for some time and that meant somebody else had to be my father and you figured it had to be Moke?"
"That's it."
"Why didn't he tell me?"
"Maybe Belle wouldn't let him."
"What reason could she have for not letting him?"
"Ashamed, maybe."
"Or maybe she didn't know it."
"If I knew it, she had to."
"Not if only the men in that family had the butterfly. I haven't got it. Maybe neither of them knew it until Danny came and they saw the birthmark. Maybe that's why they began to fight. Maybe that's why Moke took Danny. Maybe that's why Bell tried to kill him, to keep him from saying anything to me about it."
"I tell you, if I knew it —
"Jess, there's a simple answer to that."
"What is it?"
"You might be lying to me. Right now. About knowing it before I was born, about how it was between you and Belle then, and all the rest of it."
"I might be an Indian, but I'm not."
She stretched out on top of the blankets and stared up at the harness that was hanging on pegs over our heads, and it was quite a while before she said anything. "Jess, you are lying."
"If you think so, all right."
"You didn't know it when we were up there in the mine every day, running liquor, and in town every night, selling it."
"What makes you think I didn't?"
"The passes I was making."
"I fought you off."
"But why?"
"Didn't you hear me in court? I was married."
"Jess, don't make me laugh."
"That's funny to you, being married?"
"Jess, the way you wanted me, being married wouldn't have meant any more to you than nothing. And what are you trying to tell me? You hadn't seen Belle for eighteen years, and just because you hadn't taken the trouble to get a divorce, and she hadn't, you think I'm going to believe it you were still worrying about being married? But laying up with your own daughter, that would be something else. That would be something you would think you had to fight. That would mean plenty to you on Sunday, when you were going to church and singing the hymns and worrying about hell-fire after you die. Jess, why don't you own up to it? At that time you thought I was your daughter."
"I own up to nothing."
It began to get light, and still she lay there, and after a while she said: "And you didn't know I wasn't your daughter that day Belle was dying."
"You seem to have it all figured out."
"That detective work you were doing, about why she tried to do something to Moke. If you knew about this, why couldn't you figure that out? But you never once thought of it."
"I told you, I thought you already knew it, only you hadn't said anything to me about it. Later, when I found out you didn't know it, then I began to get it, why she went out of her head so, on that trip up here."
"And you didn't know it my wedding day!"
"Our wedding day."
"Our wedding day, my eye. I've only had one wedding day, and it wasn't ours. But you, you're lying to me if you say you knew it that morning. You weren't married any more, and yet you were willing I should marry Wash, and glad of it. For your daughter, that makes sense. But for Moke's daughter? A girl that was no relation to you at all, and that you wanted so bad you couldn't sleep nights? Oh no, Jess. That day was the day you found it out. I thought then there was some connection between the way you disappeared and Wash not showing up, and now God help me I have the same feeling."
"No connection I know of."
"And Moke hasn't been seen since that day. Maybe there's' some connection there too. If you saw him, why didn't you tell me?"
"I wanted to forget Moke."
"Why didn't you tell Ed Blue?"
"I still wanted to forget him."
"Seems funny you didn't snap it into Ed Blue's face about the rifle and how you warned Moke off the creek, like you told the judge."
"Let him look for his rifle."
"Where is the rifle?"
"I threw it in the creek."
"Where's Moke?"
"How should I know?"
"Jess, you killed Moke, didn't you?"