The Caged Virgin - Ayaan Hirsi Ali [51]
The doctor explains that she can choose from a number of options: she can keep the baby, she can have an abortion, or she can give it up for adoption.
The girl is in a complete muddle. “I’ve only been here a month,” she cries hysterically. “I can’t do this. My family set aside so much money to allow me to travel to the Netherlands, and this is how I thank them. I have disgraced them beyond belief. I can’t let this happen. I must hide.”
When the doctor asks if she wants an abortion—after all, the fetus is still very early in its development—she says, “No, no, no, I have disgraced myself with my family, I’m not going to disgrace myself with Allah as well, by murdering my baby.” She categorically refuses to have an abortion. It is beyond discussion. “I would end up in hell.”
According to Islam, an extramarital pregnancy brings great shame on the family, but you can still redeem yourself in the eyes of Allah. Abortion, though, the killing of an innocent baby, is a deadly sin, for which there is no forgiveness.
The doctor suggests that, alternatively, she can give up her baby for adoption. She briefly considers this option but dismisses it, “I made a mistake,” she says, “I must carry the responsibility for it.”
The doctor tells her that in that case she will have to come for regular checkups, and that she can get support from a psychotherapist if she wants. When he proposes to involve the father, she agrees, which shows that she did like the boy, after all.
THIS GIRL WAS completely clueless. She had never had any sexual education because in her culture that was deemed unnecessary. Sex before marriage is forbidden; when a woman marries she must be a virgin. Sexual education would only give people the wrong idea.
This taboo also leads to ignorance among Muslims about AIDS and how you can get it. They think it is a disease that only homosexuals, Christians, and nonbelievers can contract, not Muslims or Somalis. I interpreted for men who led active sex lives and who visited prostitutes. When they turned out to be HIV-positive, they said, “I can’t be, I am a Muslim.” As if the HIV virus would know the difference.
Somali girls are brought up with the motto, “Just keep your stitches intact.” The moment of truth comes during the wedding night. If it turns out that your vaginal walls are no longer stitched together, you are a whore. The sewing together of the vaginal walls is not, strictly speaking, an Islamic custom. The Prophet Muhammad says in the Koran that boys should be circumcised, but no mention is made of female circumcision. The tradition of stitching is pre-Islamic but was adopted by Islam; you could compare it to what happened with the pre-Christian tradition of the Christmas tree in Christianity. Muslim scholars have never condemned the ritual of female circumcision because in Islam the importance of virginity at marriage counts so heavily. When they came into contact with this tribal ritual they must have thought, Hey, wouldn’t that be a good way to guarantee a girl’s virginity? Excellent! Stitching is especially popular in African Islamic countries, such as Somalia, Eritrea, Sudan, and Egypt, and also in Indonesia.
ANAB’S STORY
Anab and Shukri are two underage asylum seekers. Upon arrival in the Netherlands, they are asked whether they have any family in the country. They are sent to Sa-ied, an older half brother who has been living in the Netherlands with his wife for five years. The organization in charge of underage asylum seekers, a trust called De Opbouw, places the girls “under his care” instead of appointing an official guardian. At that time the trust was responsible for finding suitable guardians for underage asylum seekers who had come without their parents and for monitoring their general welfare.
Sa-ied subjects both girls to severe sexual abuse for an extended period of time; Anab, the eldest of the two, suffers the worst and longest. The story comes to the surface when the younger sister, Shukri, goes to the social worker at the trust and tells her everything. The trust reports