The Caged Virgin - Ayaan Hirsi Ali [69]
Who turn to Him constantly
And He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.”
So I stretch the days of my period,
But of course there comes a time when I must
Undress. He orders me and I submit
Not to him, but to you.
Lately, enduring my husband is getting harder and harder.
O, Allah, I pray, give me the strength to endure him or I fear
My faith shall weaken.
3. ZAINAB, WHO IS BEATEN BY HER HUSBAND
Amina delivers the speech below, which tells the fate of a woman called Zainab. Meanwhile, the camera slowly moves from Amina to Zainab. We see Zainab’s swollen face, which is covered in bruises. Her clothes have been ripped from her body. Written across the exposed parts of her body—her upper arms, shoulders and, possibly, her stomach—we see the text from the Koran: chapter 4, verse 34 (Al-Nisa, or The Women).
Amina’s Speech
O Allah, most high,
You say that “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because you have given the one more (strength) than the other.”
I feel, at least once a week the strength of my husband’s fist on my face,
O Allah, most high,
Life with my husband is hard to bear,
But I submit my will to you.
My husband supports me from his means,
Therefore, I am devoutly obedient, and I guard in my husband’s absence what you would have me guard. But my husband, maintainer and protector, fears disloyalty and
ill conduct on my part; he accuses me of being ungrateful to him.
Like an army general on the battlefield he screams his every whim at me;
Threatens never to share my bed again,
And goes away for nights on end.
I suspect to another woman.
I dare not ask him about her
Even though family and friends whisper about him and the other woman.
When he comes back
He always finds a reason to doubt my loyalty to him,
And after a series of warnings and threats he starts to beat me.
First lightly on my arms and legs, just as you, most high describe—ahhhuh O shall I say prescribe—in your holy book;
But mostly on the face.
And why?
For not responding fast enough to his orders,
For ironing the wrong shirt,
For not putting enough salt in the food,
For chatting too long with my sister on the phone.
O, God, most elevated, submission to your will assures me of a better life in the hereafter,
But I feel that the price I pay for my husband’s protection and maintenance is too high.
I wonder how much longer I will submit.
4. FATIMA, THE VEILED WOMAN
Amina delivers the speech below, which tells the fate of a woman called Fatima. Meanwhile, the camera slowly moves from Amina to Fatima. We see a woman veiled from head to toe; a lattice of threads dangling in front of her eyes suggests she is peering through a barred window. She is sitting down, and the draperies of her robe reveal her feminine contours. Printed across the veil, in white ink, are the texts from the Koran: chapter 24, verse 31 (Al-Nur, or The Light).
Amina’s Speech
O Allah, most gracious, most merciful.
Just as you demand of the believing woman, I lower my gaze and guard my modesty.
I never display my beauty and ornaments; not even my face or hands.
I never strike with my feet in order to draw attention to my hidden ornaments, not even at parties.
I never go out of the house unless it is absolutely necessary; and then only with my father’s permission. When I do go out I draw my veil over my bosom as you wish.
Once in a while I sin. I fantasize about feeling the wind through my hair or the sun on my skin, perhaps on the beach. I daydream about an extended journey through the world, imagining all the places and peoples out there. Of course, I shall never see these places or meet many people because it is so important to guard my modesty in order to please you, O Allah. So I cheerfully do as you say and cover my body from head to toe except while I am in the house and with family members only. In general I am happy with my life.
However, since my father’s brother Hakim is staying with us
Things have changed!
Hakim waits till I am alone at home and comes to my room.
Then he orders me