The Captives [99]
father. You're so good and trustful yourself that you don't know how these fellows are doing you in. There's a regular plot against you and they'd be most awfully pleased if you were to retire. They're not genuine like you. They simply use the Chapel for self-advertisement and making money. Of course there are some genuine ones like the Miss Cardinals, but Thurston's an absolute swindler . . ."
He stopped short at that. He had said more than he had intended and he was frightened suddenly. He swung round on his heel and looked at his father.
"Come here, Martin." He came across the room. "Closer. Now, tell me. We're good friends, aren't we?"
"Of course, father."
He put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Do you know that I love you more than anything in the whole world? More, I'm sometimes terribly afraid, than God Himself. I can't help myself. I love you, Martin, so that it's like hunger or thirst . . . It's the only earthly passion that I've ever had. And I'll tell you another thing. It's the one terror of my earthly life that you'll leave me. Now that I've got you back I'm afraid every time you go out of the house that you'll run away, round the corner, and never come back again. I love you and I'm not going to let you go again.--Not until--until--the Time has come . . . What does it matter to you and me what Thurston and Amy do? God will come and He will find us both together--you and I--and He will take us up and keep us together and we shall never be separated any more . . . I love your strength, Martin, your happiness, your youth--all the things I've never had. And you're not going to leave me, not though Amy married a hundred Thurstons . . ."
Mr. Warlock's grip on his son's shoulder was iron.
Martin bent down and sat on the arm of his dusty leather chair to bring himself on to the same level. He put his arm round his father and drew him close to him. Maggie, Life, Money, Adventure-- everything seemed to draw away from him and he saw himself, a little boy, pattering on bare feet down the aisle towards the font--just as though a spell had been cast over him.
They sat close together in silence. Then slowly the thought of Thurston came back again. Martin drew away a little.
"All the same, father," he said, "Thurston mustn't marry Amy."
"They're only engaged. There's no question of marriage yet."
"Then they are engaged?" Martin drew right away, standing up again.
"Oh, yes, they're engaged."
"Then I'm not going to stand it. I tell you I won't stay here if Thurston marries Amy."
Mr. Warlock sighed. "Well then, let's leave it, my boy. I daresay they'll never marry."
"No. I won't have it. It's too serious to leave."
His father's voice was sharper suddenly.
"Well, we won't talk about it just now, Martin, if you don't mind."
"But I must. You can't leave a thing like that. Thurston will simply own the place . . ."
"I tell you, Martin, to leave it alone." They were both angry now.
"And I tell you, father, that if you let Thurston marry Amy I leave the house and never come back again."
"Isn't that rather selfish of you? You've been away all these years. You've left us to ourselves. You come back suddenly without seeing how we live or caring and then you dictate to us what we're to do. How can you expect us to listen?"
"And how can you expect me to stay?" Martin broke into a torrent of words: "I'm miserable here and you know that I am. Mother and Amy hate me and you're always wrapped up in your religion. What kind of a place is it for a fellow? I came back meaning that you and I should be the best pals father and son have ever been, but you wouldn't come out with me--you only wanted to drag me in. You tell me always to wait for something. To wait for what? I don't know. And nobody here does seem to know. And I can't wait for ever. I've got to lead my own life and if you won't come with me I must go off by myself--"
He was following his own ideas now--not looking at his father at all. "I've discovered since I've been home that I'm not the sort of fellow to settle down.
He stopped short at that. He had said more than he had intended and he was frightened suddenly. He swung round on his heel and looked at his father.
"Come here, Martin." He came across the room. "Closer. Now, tell me. We're good friends, aren't we?"
"Of course, father."
He put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Do you know that I love you more than anything in the whole world? More, I'm sometimes terribly afraid, than God Himself. I can't help myself. I love you, Martin, so that it's like hunger or thirst . . . It's the only earthly passion that I've ever had. And I'll tell you another thing. It's the one terror of my earthly life that you'll leave me. Now that I've got you back I'm afraid every time you go out of the house that you'll run away, round the corner, and never come back again. I love you and I'm not going to let you go again.--Not until--until--the Time has come . . . What does it matter to you and me what Thurston and Amy do? God will come and He will find us both together--you and I--and He will take us up and keep us together and we shall never be separated any more . . . I love your strength, Martin, your happiness, your youth--all the things I've never had. And you're not going to leave me, not though Amy married a hundred Thurstons . . ."
Mr. Warlock's grip on his son's shoulder was iron.
Martin bent down and sat on the arm of his dusty leather chair to bring himself on to the same level. He put his arm round his father and drew him close to him. Maggie, Life, Money, Adventure-- everything seemed to draw away from him and he saw himself, a little boy, pattering on bare feet down the aisle towards the font--just as though a spell had been cast over him.
They sat close together in silence. Then slowly the thought of Thurston came back again. Martin drew away a little.
"All the same, father," he said, "Thurston mustn't marry Amy."
"They're only engaged. There's no question of marriage yet."
"Then they are engaged?" Martin drew right away, standing up again.
"Oh, yes, they're engaged."
"Then I'm not going to stand it. I tell you I won't stay here if Thurston marries Amy."
Mr. Warlock sighed. "Well then, let's leave it, my boy. I daresay they'll never marry."
"No. I won't have it. It's too serious to leave."
His father's voice was sharper suddenly.
"Well, we won't talk about it just now, Martin, if you don't mind."
"But I must. You can't leave a thing like that. Thurston will simply own the place . . ."
"I tell you, Martin, to leave it alone." They were both angry now.
"And I tell you, father, that if you let Thurston marry Amy I leave the house and never come back again."
"Isn't that rather selfish of you? You've been away all these years. You've left us to ourselves. You come back suddenly without seeing how we live or caring and then you dictate to us what we're to do. How can you expect us to listen?"
"And how can you expect me to stay?" Martin broke into a torrent of words: "I'm miserable here and you know that I am. Mother and Amy hate me and you're always wrapped up in your religion. What kind of a place is it for a fellow? I came back meaning that you and I should be the best pals father and son have ever been, but you wouldn't come out with me--you only wanted to drag me in. You tell me always to wait for something. To wait for what? I don't know. And nobody here does seem to know. And I can't wait for ever. I've got to lead my own life and if you won't come with me I must go off by myself--"
He was following his own ideas now--not looking at his father at all. "I've discovered since I've been home that I'm not the sort of fellow to settle down.