The Choice - Nicholas Sparks [88]
She was practical, too. The kitchen, bathrooms, and bedrooms were airy and bright and sparkly modern, with large windows framing the gorgeous views. The master bathroom had a claw-foot tub and a roomy, glass-walled shower. She wanted a big garage, with plenty of room for Travis. Guessing that they’d spend a lot of time on the wraparound porch, she insisted on a hammock and matching rockers, along with an outdoor grill and a seating area located in such a way that during storms, they could sit outside without getting wet. The overall effect was one in which a person didn’t know whether he or she was more comfortable inside or out; the kind of home where someone could walk in with muddy shoes and not get in trouble. And on their first night in their new home, as they lay on the canopy bed, Gabby rolled toward Travis with an expression of pure contentment, her voice almost a purr: “This place, with you by my side, is where I’ll always want to be.”
The kids had been having problems, even if he didn’t mention them to Gabby.
Not surprising, of course, but most of the time, Travis was at a loss as to what to do. Christine had asked him more than once whether Mommy was ever going to come home, and though Travis always assured her that she would, Christine seemed uncertain, probably because Travis wasn’t sure he believed it himself. Kids were perceptive like that, and at eight years old, she’d reached an age where she knew the world wasn’t as simple as she’d once imagined it to be.
She was a lovely child with bright blue eyes who liked to wear neat bows in her hair. She wanted her room to always appear just so and refused to wear clothes that didn’t match. She didn’t throw temper tantrums when things weren’t right; instead, she was the sort of child who organized her toys or picked a new pair of shoes. But since the accident, she got frustrated easily, and temper tantrums were now the norm. His family, Stephanie included, had recommended counseling, and both Christine and Lisa went twice a week, but the temper tantrums seemed to be getting worse. And last night, when Christine went to bed, her room was a mess.
Lisa, who’d always been small for her age, had hair the same color as Gabby’s and a generally sunny disposition. She had a blanket she carried with her everywhere, and she followed Christine around the house like a puppy. She put stickers on all her folders, and her work in school usually came home covered in stars. Still, for a long time she’d cry herself to sleep. From downstairs, Travis could hear her weeping on the monitor, and he’d have to pinch the bridge of his nose to keep from joining in. On those nights, he would climb the stairs to the girls’ bedroom—since the accident, another change was that they wanted to sleep in the same room—and Travis would lie beside her, stroking her hair and listening as she whimpered “I miss Mommy” over and over, the saddest words Travis had ever heard. Almost too choked up to speak, he would simply say, “I know. I do, too.”
He couldn’t begin to take Gabby’s place, and he didn’t try; what that left, however, was a hole where Gabby used to be, an emptiness he didn’t know how to fill. Like most parents, each of them had carved out fiefdoms of expertise when it came to child care. Gabby, he knew now, had taken a far greater share of the responsibility than he had, and he regretted it now. There were so many things he didn’t know how to do, things that Gabby made seem easy. Little things. He could brush the girls’ hair, but when it came to braids, he understood the concept but found them impossible to master. He didn’t know what kind of yogurt Lisa referred to when she said she wanted “the one with the blue banana.” When colds settled in, he stood in the aisle of the grocery store, scanning the shelves of cough syrup, wondering whether to buy grape or cherry flavoring. Christine never wore the clothes he set out. He’d had no idea that Lisa liked to wear sparkly shoes on Fridays. He realized