The Cinderella Deal - Jennifer Crusie [55]
“Job’s wonderful, although not the arguing bits. The good stuff’s the part where God rips a strip off Job for whining. Here.” She took the book from him and flipped forward a few pages. “Chapter Thirty-eight. ‘Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know!’ I love that bit, God getting sarcastic. ‘Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy.’”
Daisy put the book down on her lap and stared into space, a delighted smile on her face. “Except I see the daughters of God shouting too. All the people together, shouting for joy, and the morning stars singing.” She closed the book and leaned back on her pillows. “Our church was gray stone on the inside and it was so beautiful. The sun would come through the stained glass windows and warm the wooden pews, and our minister would read this stuff and I’d feel so safe.” She turned and looked into his eyes. “I never felt that safe again until I moved in with you. Thank you.”
Linc was speechless. The combined effects of his mother, frail and ill and needing him, and Daisy, warm and healthy and trusting him, left him dizzy. Stay with me, he wanted to say. Be my wife. Then the room started to spin around and he realized he wasn’t breathing. He drew in a deep breath and took the book from her. “I like keeping you safe. What’s your favorite book?”
“Ecclesiastes. Song of Songs. Esther. Ruth.” She snuggled down into her pillow. “Different things for different moods.” She yawned. “If you hear me get up later, I’m just checking on your mom. Don’t worry.”
She closed her eyes, and he looked down at her pale face framed by the splash of dark curls on her pillow. She was so sweet and warm, and he loved her so much.
The thought startled him. I love her like a sister, he told himself. Except that I want her too. Evil thoughts for a man with a Bible on his lap.
He flipped through the pages until he chanced into the middle of Song of Songs and read, “I come to my garden, my sister, my bride,” and thought, everything really is in the Bible. Then he went back to the beginning and read, “Oh that you would kiss me with the kisses of your mouth! For your love is better than wine.”
That’s it, he thought, and put the book on his bedside table. Enough Bible. Then he turned out the light and fell asleep, thinking about Daisy, only inches away from him.
The next night his mother was worse, and he read only a little more of Job before he closed the book and said, “You’re tired. I’ll read more tomorrow.”
“You have your father’s voice.” Gertrude rolled her head on her pillow so she could see him in the lamplight. “I close my eyes and I can see him when you read. You look so much like him.”
Linc sat frozen. His mother had never talked like this before. It’s the fever, he told himself.
“I loved him so much.” Her voice was weak, barely a thread. “It was God’s miracle that he loved me. So big and strong, just like you. And then I lost him.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I tell myself it is part of God’s plan, but I have been so lonely. Eighteen years.”
Eighteen years alone. Linc shuddered at the coldness of it.
“I did not love you enough.” Gertrude’s tears were coming faster. “Later, I was better. I was better with Wil and Ken. But I did not love you enough then. I am sorry.”
“No.” His embarrassment was agony, but much worse was how helpless he was to stop her pain. “No, it’s all right. You were a good mother.”
She shook her head weakly on the pillow. “No. But now it is all right. You have Daisy. Now you will get all the love I could not give you.” She was openly crying now, the tears rolling down her cheeks, and Linc felt the room begin to swoop. This couldn’t be happening. He had to stop it.
“Listen.” He grabbed her hand and held on tightly. “You took care of me. I had plenty to eat, and my clothes were always clean, and you never interfered or pushed me or made me feel like I wasn