The clan of the cave bear_ a novel - Jean M. Auel [149]
“I wonder how much courage it took to face another lynx after being attacked by one, alone, with only a sling?” Droog commented. “I wouldn’t object to Zoug’s suggestion, if she hunts only with a sling. The spirits don’t seem to object; she is still bringing us luck. What about our mammoth hunt?”
“I’m not sure that’s a decision we can make,” Brun said. “I don’t see any way we can even allow her to live, much less hunt. You know the traditions, Zoug. It’s never been done before; would the spirits really approve? What made you think of it, anyway? Clan women don’t hunt.”
“Yes, Clan women don’t hunt, but this one has. I probably wouldn’t have thought of it if I didn’t know she could, if I hadn’t already seen her. All I’m saying is let her continue to do what she has already done.”
“What do you say, Mog-ur?” Brun asked.
“What do you expect him to say, she lives at his hearth!” Broud interjected bitterly.
“Broud!” Brun stormed. “Are you accusing Mog-ur of putting his own feelings, his own interests, before those of the clan? Is he not Mog-ur? The Mog-ur? You think he will not say what is right, what is true?”
“No, Brun. Broud has made a good point. My feelings for Ayla are well known; it’s not easy to forget I love her. I think you should all remember that, even though I’ve tried to put emotions aside. I can’t be sure that I have. I have been fasting and meditating since you returned, Brun. Last night I found my way to memories I never knew, perhaps because I never looked.
“Long ago, long before we were Clan, women helped men to hunt.” There was a gasp of disbelief. “It’s true. We will have a ceremony, and I will fake you there. When we were first learning to make tools and weapons, and we were born with a knowing that was like memories, but different, women and men both killed animals for food. Men did not always provide for women then. Like a mother bear, a woman hunted for herself and her children.
“It was later that men began to hunt for a woman and her young, and even later before women with children stayed behind. When men began to care about the young, when they began to provide, it was the beginnings of the Clan and helped it to grow. If a mother of a young child died while she was trying to get food, the baby died, too. But it wasn’t until people stopped fighting each other and learned to cooperate, to hunt together, that the Clan really began. Even then, some women hunted, when they were the ones who talked to the spirits.
“Brun, you said it’s never been done before. You are wrong; Clan women have hunted before. The spirits approved then, but they were different spirits, ancient spirits, not the spirits of totems. They were powerful spirits, but they have long since gone to rest. I’m not sure if they can rightfully be called Clan spirits. It wasn’t that they were honored or venerated, more that they were feared; but they weren’t evil, just powerful.”
The men were stunned. He spoke of times so ancient and so little recalled, they were almost forgotten, almost new. Yet just his mentioning of them evoked a recollection of the fear, and more than one man shuddered.
“I doubt that women born to the Clan now would ever want to hunt,” Mog-ur continued. “I’m not sure they could. It’s been too long, women have changed since then, so have men. But Ayla is different, the Others are different, more different than we think. I don’t think letting her hunt would make any difference as far as the other women are concerned. Her hunting, her wanting to hunt, surprises them as much as us. I have nothing more to say.”
“Does anyone have anything more to say?” Brun asked. He wasn’t sure, though, that he was ready for more. Too many new ideas had already been proposed for comfort.
“Goov would speak, Brun.”
“Goov may speak.”
“I am only an acolyte, I don’t know as much as Mog-ur, but I think he overlooked something. Maybe it’s because he has tried so hard to put aside his feeling for Ayla. He has concentrated on remembering, not on the girl herself, perhaps out of fear it would be his