The clan of the cave bear_ a novel - Jean M. Auel [161]
She crawled around in the cave at random, bumping into things, but when she reached the mouth, she saw a faint, dim glow high above. My stick, it must be up there. She climbed up the bush growing partway into the cave, felt the end of the long branch, and pushed it. Snow fell on her as the stick went through the snow and opened the air hole. She was greeted by a waft of fresh air and a bright blue patch of sky. The storm had finally blown itself out, and when the wind stopped blowing, the last of the snow sifting down had clogged the hole.
The fresh cold air cleared her head. It’s over! It stopped snowing! It finally stopped snowing! I can go home. But how am I going to get out of here? She poked and prodded with the stick, trying to enlarge the hole. A large section loosened, fell through the opening, and plopped into the cave, covering her with the cold damp snow. I will bury myself if I’m not careful. I’d better think about this. She clambered down and smiled at the light streaming in through the enlarged opening. She was excited, eager to leave, but she forced herself to settle down and think everything through.
I wish the fire hadn’t gone out, I’d like some tea. But I think there’s some water in the waterbag. Yes, good, she thought and took a drink. I won’t be able to cook anything to eat, but missing one meal won’t hurt me. Anyway, I can eat some dried deer meat. It doesn’t have to be cooked. She ran back to the mouth of the cave to make sure the sky was still blue. Now, what should I take with me? Don’t have to worry about food, there’s plenty stored, especially since the mammoth hunt.
Suddenly, everything came back to her in a rush—the mammoth hunt, killing the hyena, the death curse. Will they really take me back? Will they really see me again? What if they won’t? Where will I go? But Brun said I could come back, he said so. Ayla hung on to that idea.
Well, I won’t take my sling, that’s for sure. What about my collecting basket; Creb burned my other one. No, I won’t need it until next summer; I can make a new one then. My clothes, I’ll take all my clothes, I’ll wear them all, and maybe a few tools. Ayla got together all the things she wanted to take with her, then began to dress. She put on the rabbit-skin lining and both pairs of foot coverings, wrapped her legs with rabbit-fur leggings, put her tools in her wrap and then tied her fur around her securely. She put on her wolverine hood and her fur-lined hand coverings and started toward the hole. She turned and looked at the cave that had been her home for the past moon, then removed her hand coverings and walked back.
She didn’t know why it was important to her to leave the small cave in order, but it gave her a sense of completion, like putting it away now that she was through with it. Ayla had an inherent sense of orderliness, reinforced by Iza who had to maintain a systematic arrangement of her store of medicines. Quickly, she arranged everything neatly, put her hand coverings back on, then turned purposefully toward the snow-blocked entrance. She was going to get out; she didn’t know how yet, but she was going to get back to the cave of the clan.
I’d better go out the top through the hole, I’ll never be able to tunnel through all that snow, she thought. She started climbing up the hazelnut bush and used the stick that had kept the air hole open to widen it. Standing on the highest branches, which sagged only a little in the deep snow under her weight, she poked her head out of the hole and caught her breath. Her mountain meadow was unrecognizable. From her perch, the snow sloped away in a gentle grade. She couldn’t identify a single landmark; everything was covered with snow. How will I ever get through this? It’s so deep. The girl was almost overwhelmed with dismay.
As she looked around, she began to get her bearings. That birch clump, next to the tall fir, it’s not much bigger