The clan of the cave bear_ a novel - Jean M. Auel [172]
It’s over, Ayla thought, breathing a sigh of relief as Mog-ur sat down again. She still didn’t know why she was made to participate in the unusual ceremony. But they weren’t through with her yet. Brun moved around in front of her and motioned to her to stand. Quickly, she scrambled to her feet. He reached into a fold of his wrap and withdrew a small, red-stained oval of ivory sawed from near the tip of a mammoth tusk.
“Ayla, this one time alone, while we are under the protection of the Most Ancient Spirits, you stand as an equal with the men.” She wasn’t sure she understood the leader correctly. “Once you leave this place, you must never again think of yourself as an equal. You are female, you will always be female.”
Ayla was nodding her head in agreement. Of course, she knew she was female, but she was puzzled.
“This ivory is from the tusk of the mammoth we killed. It was a very lucky hunt; no man was hurt, yet we brought down the great beast. This piece has been sanctified by Ursus, colored the sacred red by Mog-ur, and is a powerful hunting talisman. Every hunter of the clan carries one like it in his amulet, and every hunter must have one.
“Ayla, no boy becomes adult until he makes his first kill, but once he has, he cannot be a child. Long ago, during the time of the Spirits that still hover near, women of the Clan hunted. We don’t know why your totem has led you to follow that ancient path, but we cannot deny the Spirit of the Cave Lion; it must be allowed. Ayla, you have made your first kill; you must now assume the responsibilities of an adult. But you are a woman, not a man, and you will be a woman always, in all ways but one. You may use only a sling, Ayla, but you are now the Woman Who Hunts.”
Ayla felt a sudden rush of blood rise to her face. Could it be true? Had she really understood Brun? For using a sling, she had just been through an ordeal she didn’t think she would survive; now she was going to be allowed to use it? Allowed to hunt? Openly? She could hardly believe it.
“This talisman is for you. Put it in your amulet.” Ayla took the pouch from around her neck and fumbled to untie the knots. She took the red-stained oval of ivory from Brun and put it beside the chunk of red ochre and the fossil cast, then closed the leather bag and slipped it back over her neck.
“Do not tell anyone yet; I will announce it before the feast tonight. It is in your honor, Ayla, in honor of your first kill,” Brun said. “I hope your next one will be more palatable than a hyena,” he added with a twinkle of humor in his eyes. “Now, turn around.”
She did as she was told, and felt the blindfold cover her eyes and the two men lead her back, then remove the blindfold. She watched Brun and Goov return to the circle of men. Was I dreaming? She felt her throat and the sting of the wound where Mog-ur had cut her, then slid her hand down and felt three objects inside her amulet. She moved her wrap aside and stared at the slightly smeared black lines that covered her scars. A hunter! I am a hunter! A hunter for the clan. They said it was my totem who wanted it and they couldn’t deny him. She clutched her amulet, closed her eyes, and then began the formal gestures.
“Great Cave Lion, why did I ever doubt you? The death curse was a difficult test, the worst yet, but it had to be for so great a gift. I am so grateful you found me worthy. I know Creb was right—my life will never be easy with you as my totem, but it will always be worth it.”
The ceremony had been effective enough to convince the men that Ayla should be allowed to hunt—all but one. Broud was furious. If he hadn’t been so frightened by Mog-ur’s warning, he would have left the ceremony. He wanted no part of anything that gave that female special privileges. He glowered