The clan of the cave bear_ a novel - Jean M. Auel [216]
Ayla’s thoughts were far from finding a mate. She was having enough trouble just getting up courage to face the congregation of curious, suspicious people outside the cave. She and Uba had unpacked and set up the hearth that would be their home for the duration of their visit. Norg’s mate had seen to it that stones for fireplaces and definition of boundaries were piled conveniently nearby, and skins of water were available for guest clans. Ayla had taken great care to display her gifts for the host clan the way Iza had explained, and the quality of her work had already attracted notice. She washed off the travel grime, changed to a clean wrap, then nursed her son while Uba waited impatiently. The girl was anxious to explore the area near the cave and see all the people, but reluctant to face them alone.
“Hurry, Ayla,” she motioned. “Everyone else is out already. Can’t you feed Durc later? I’d rather sit out in the sun than in this dark old cave, wouldn’t you?”
“I don’t want him to start crying right away. You know how loud he cries. People might think I’m not a good mother,” Ayla said. “I don’t want to do anything to make them think any worse of me than they do. Creb told me people would be surprised when they saw me, but I didn’t think they might not let us stay. And I didn’t think they’d stare like that.”
“Well, they let us in, and after Creb and Brun get through talking to them, they’ll know you’re a Clan woman. Come on, Ayla. You can’t stay in the cave forever, you’ve got to face them sooner or later. They’ll get used to you after a while, just like we did. I don’t notice that you look different hardly at all; I really have to think about it.”
“I was there before you were born, Uba. They’ve never seen me before. Oh, all right, I might as well get it over with. Let’s go. Don’t forget to bring something for the cave bear to eat.”
Ayla got up, leaned Durc against her shoulder, and patted his back as they started out. They made a gesture of respect to Norg’s mate as they passed her hearth. The woman returned a greeting gesture and quickly turned back to her task, suddenly conscious that she had been staring. Ayla took a deep breath as she neared the entrance and held her head up a little higher. She was determined to ignore the curiosity about her; she was a woman of the Clan and she belonged here as much as anyone.
Her determination was tested to the fullest when she walked into the bright sunlight. Every person of every clan had found some reason to stay near the cave to wait for the strange Clan woman to come out. Many of them tried not to be obvious about it, but many more forgot, or ignored, common courtesy and stared in open-mouthed wonder. Ayla could feel her face flush. She changed Durc’s position as an excuse to look at him rather than the multitude of faces turned in her direction.
It was fortunate she was looking at her son. Her action focused attention on Durc who had been overlooked at the first shock of her appearance. Expressions and gestures, some not so discreet, made it clear what they thought of her son. He would not have had to look like one of their babies; if he resembled her, they could have accepted him better. Regardless of what Brun and The Mog-ur said, Ayla was one of the Others; her baby could have fit into the same mold. But Durc had enough Clan characteristics to make his modifications seem to be distortions. He was a grossly deformed baby that should not have been allowed to live. Not only did Ayla’s worth drop, Brun lost more ground, too.
Ayla turned her back on the suspicious stares and gaping mouths, and she and Uba went to look at the cave bear in his cage. When he saw them approach, the huge bruin lumbered over, sat up, and reached through