The clan of the cave bear_ a novel - Jean M. Auel [251]
Is he ready for it? He did so well at the Clan Gathering, I almost gave it to him then. He’s brave; everyone told me how lucky I am. I am lucky, I was afraid he might be chosen to go with Ursus. It would have been an honor, but that’s one honor I was glad to forgo. Gorn was a good man, it was hard on Norg’s clan. It always is when Ursus chooses. Sometimes it’s lucky not to be honored; the son of my mate still walks this world. And he is fearless. Maybe too fearless. A bit of daring and recklessness is fine for a young man, but a leader must be more sober. He must consider his men. He must think and plan so the hunt will be successful, yet not endanger his men needlessly. Maybe I should start to let him lead a few hunts, to give him the experience. He’s got to learn there’s more to leadership than daring. There’s responsibility and self-control.
What is it about Ayla that brings out the worst in him? Why does he demean himself by competing with her? She may look a little different, but she’s still a woman. Brave for a woman, though, determined. I wonder if Zoug’s kin will take her? It would seem strange without her, now that I’ve gotten used to her. And she is a good medicine woman, an asset to any clan. I’ll do what I can to make sure they appreciate her value. Look at her—not even her son, the son she was ready to follow to the next world, can take her mind off Iza. Not many would brave a cave bear to save a man’s life. She can be fearless, too, and she’s learned to control herself. She behaved well at the Gathering, in every way a proper woman, not like when she was younger. No one had anything but praise for her by the time it was over.
“Brun,” Iza called out in a weak voice. “Uba, bring the leader some tea,” she motioned, trying to sit up straighter. She was still the proper mistress of Creb’s hearth. “Ayla, bring a fur for Brun to sit on. This woman regrets she is unable to serve the leader herself.”
“Iza, don’t trouble yourself. I didn’t come for tea, I came to see you,” Brun gestured, sitting down beside her bed.
“How long have you been standing there?” Iza asked.
“Not long. Ayla was busy; I chose not to disturb her, or you, until she was through. You were missed at the Clan Gathering.”
“Was it successful?”
“This clan is still first. The hunters did well; Broud was chosen first for the Bear Ceremony. Ayla did well, too. She received many compliments.”
“Compliments! Who needs compliments? Too many make the spirits jealous. If she did well, if she brought honor to the clan, that is enough.”
“She did well. She was accepted, she behaved as a proper woman. She is your daughter, Iza. How can anyone expect less?”
“Yes, she is my daughter, as much as Uba is my daughter. I was fortunate, the spirits chose to favor me with two daughters and both of them will be good medicine women. Ayla can finish training Uba.”
“No!” Ayla interrupted. “You will finish Uba’s training. You’re going to get well. We’re back now, we’ll take care of you. You’ll get well, just wait and see,” she motioned with earnest desperation. “You have to get well, mother.”
“Ayla. Child. The spirits are ready for me, I must go with them soon. They gave me my last wish, to see my loved ones before I go, but I can’t make them wait much longer.”
The broth and medicine had stimulated the last of the sick woman’s reserves. Her temperature was rising in her body’s valiant effort to fight off the disease that had sapped her. The sparkle in her fever-glazed eyes and the color it lent to her cheeks gave her a false look of health. But there was a translucent glow to Iza’s face as though lit from within. It was not the flush of life. The eerie quality was called the spirit glow, and Brun had seen it before. It was the rising