The clan of the cave bear_ a novel - Jean M. Auel [30]
Brun hardly noticed the ground beneath his feet as he walked back to the waiting clan. He couldn’t imagine a more perfect cave. The spirits have returned, he thought. Maybe they never left us, maybe they just wanted us to move to this larger, finer cave. Of course! That must be it! They were tired of the old cave, they wanted a new home, so they made an earthquake to make us leave it. Maybe the people who were killed were needed in the spirit world; and to make up for it, they led us to this new cave. They must have been testing me, testing my leadership. That’s why I couldn’t decide if we should turn back. Brun was glad his leadership had not been found wanting. If it hadn’t been entirely improper, he would have run back to tell the others.
As the three men came into view, there was no need to tell anyone they were through traveling. They knew. Of those waiting, only Iza and Ayla had seen the cave, and only Iza could appreciate it; she had been sure Brun would claim it. He can’t make Ayla leave now, Iza thought. If it hadn’t been for her, Brun would have turned back before we found it. Her totem must be powerful, and lucky, too. She’s even lucky for us. Iza looked at the little girl beside her, oblivious to the excitement she had caused. But if she’s so lucky, why did she lose her people? Iza shook her head. I’ll never understand the ways of the spirits.
Brun was looking at the child, too. As soon as he saw Iza and the girl, he remembered it was Iza who told him about the cave, and she would never have seen it if she hadn’t gone after Ayla. The leader had been annoyed when he saw the child wander off by herself; he had told everyone to wait. But if she hadn’t been so undisciplined, he would have missed the cave. Why would the spirits lead her to it first? Mog-ur was right, he’s always right, the spirits weren’t angered by Iza’s compassion, weren’t upset that Ayla was with them. If anything, they favored her.
Brun glanced at the deformed man who should have been leader in his place. We’re lucky that my brother is our mog-ur. Strange, he thought, I haven’t thought of him as my brother for a long time, not since we were children. Brun always used to think of Creb as his brother when he was young and fighting for the self-control necessary to males of the clan, especially to one destined to be leader. His older sibling had fought his own battle, against pain and ridicule because he couldn’t hunt, and he seemed to know when Brun was breaking down. The crippled man’s gentle look had a calming effect even then, and Brun always felt better when Creb sat next to him offering the solace of silent understanding.
All children born to the same woman were siblings, but only children of the same sex referred to each other with the more intimate term of brother or sister, and then only when they were young or in rare moments of special closeness. Males did not have sisters, as females did not have brothers; Creb was Brun’s sibling and his brother; Iza was only sibling, and she had no sisters.
There was a time when Brun felt sorry for Creb, but he had long since forgotten the man’s affliction in respect for his knowledge and his power. He had almost ceased seeing him as a man at all, only as the great magician whose sage counsel he often sought. Brun didn’t think his brother ever regretted not being leader, but sometimes he wondered if the cripple ever regretted not having a mate and her children. Women could be trying at times, but they often brought warmth and pleasure to a man’s fire. Creb never had a mate, never learned to hunt, never knew the joys or the responsibilities of normal manhood, but he was Mog-ur, The Mog-ur.