The Classic Mystery Collection - Arthur Conan Doyle [331]
And in the midst of all this tornado of beatitude was a little man struggling to be heard. His voice was small and faint, and the noise was deafening. He made weak little gestures that seemed more those of irritation than anything else. He came to the edge of the parapet above the crowd, waving it to be quiet, with movements rather like the flap of the short wings of a penguin. There was something a little more like a lull in the noise; and then Father Brown for the first time reached the utmost stretch of the indignation that he could launch against his children.
'Oh, you silly people,' he said in a high and quavering voice; 'Oh, you silly, silly people.'
Then he suddenly seemed to pull himself together, made a bolt for the steps with his more normal gait, and began hurriedly to descend.
'Where are you going, Father?' said Mendoza, with more than his usual veneration.
'To the telegraph office,' said Father Brown hastily. 'What? No; of course it's not a miracle. Why should there be a miracle? Miracles are not so cheap as all that.'
And he came tumbling down the steps, the people flinging themselves before him to implore his blessing.
'Bless you, bless you,' said Father Brown hastily. 'God bless you all and give you more sense.'
And he scuttled away with extraordinary rapidity to the telegraph office, where he wired to his Bishop's secretary: 'There is some mad story about a miracle here; hope his lordship not give authority. Nothing in it.'
As he turned away from his effort, he tottered a little with the reaction, and John Race caught him by the arm.
'Let me see you home,' he said; 'you deserve more than these people are giving you.'
John Race and the priest were seated in the presbytery; the table was still piled up with the papers with which the latter had been wrestling the day before; the bottle of wine and the emptied wine - glass still stood where he had left them.
'And now,' said Father Brown almost grimly, 'I can begin to think.'
'I shouldn't think too hard just yet,' said the American. 'You must be wanting a rest. Besides, what are you going to think about?'
'I have pretty often had the task of investigating murders, as it happens,' said Father Brown. 'Now I have got to investigate my own murder.'
'If I were you,' said Race, 'I should take a little wine first.'
Father Brown stood up and filled himself another glass, lifted it, looked thoughtfully into vacancy, and put it down again. Then he sat down once more and said:
'Do you know what I felt like when I died? You may not believe it, but my feeling was one of overwhelming astonishment.'
'Well,' answered Race, 'I suppose you were astonished at being knocked on the head.'
Father Brown leaned over to him and said in a low voice, 'I was astonished at not being knocked on the head.'
Race looked at him for a moment as if he thought the knock on the head had been only too effective; but he only said: 'What do you mean?'
'I mean that when that man brought his bludgeon down with a great swipe, it stopped at my head and did not even touch it. In the same way, the other fellow made as if to strike me with a knife, but he never gave me a scratch. It was just like play - acting. I think it was. But then followed the extraordinary thing.'
He looked thoughtfully at the papers on the table for a moment and then went on:
'Though I had not even been touched with knife or stick, I began to feel my legs doubling up under me and my very life failing. I knew I was being struck down by something, but it was not by those weapons. Do you know what I think it was?' And he pointed to the wine on the table.
Race picked up the wine - glass and looked at it and smelt it.
'I think you are right,' he said. 'I began as a druggist and studied chemistry. I couldn't say for certain without an analysis; but I think there's something very unusual in this stuff. There are drugs by which the Asiatics produce a temporary sleep that looks like death.'