The Clever Woman of the Family [74]
He did not know that the vivid carmine that made her look so handsome was not caused by gratification at his praise, but by the struggle to brook it patiently. "And now, knowing the influence over him that, most deservedly, you must always possess, I am induced to hope that, as his sincere friend, you will exert it in favour of the more prudent counsels." "I have no influence over his judgment," said Ermine, a little proudly. "I mean," said Lord Keith, forced to much closer quarters, "you will excuse me for speaking thus openly--that in the state of the case, with so much depending on his making a satisfactory choice, I feel convinced, with every regret, that you will feel it to be for his true welfare--as indeed I infer that you have already endeavoured to show him--to make a new beginning, and to look on the past as past." There was something in the insinuating tone of this speech, increased as it was by the modulation of his Scottish voice, that irritated his hearer unspeakably, all the more because it was the very thing she had been doing. "Colonel Keith must judge for himself," she said, with a cold manner, but a burning heart. "I--I understand," said Lord Keith, "that you had most honourably, most consistently, made him aware that--that what once might have been desirable has unhappily become impossible." "Well," said Ermine. "And thus," he proceeded, "that the sincere friendship with which you still regard him would prevent any encouragement to continue an attachment, unhappily now hopeless and obstructive to his prospects." Ermine's eyes flashed at the dictation. "Lord Keith," she said, "I have never sought your brother's visits nor striven to prolong them; but if he finds pleasure in them after a life of disappointment and trouble, I cannot refuse nor discourage them." "I am aware," said Lord Keith, rising as if to go, "that I have trespassed long on your time, and made a suggestion only warranted by the generosity with which you have hitherto acted." "One may be generous of one's own, not of other people's," said Ermine. He looked at her puzzled, then said, "Perhaps it will be best to speak categorically, Miss Williams. Let it be distinctly understood that my brother Colin, in paying his addresses to you, is necessarily without my sanction or future assistance." "It might not be necessary, my lord. Good morning;" and her courteous bow was an absolute dismissal. But when Alison came home she found her more depressed than she had allowed herself to be for years, and on asking what was the matter was answered-- "Pride and perverseness, Ailie!" then, in reply to the eager exclamation, "I believe he was justified in all he said. But, Ailie, I have preached to Colin more than I had a right to do about forgiving his brother. I did not know how provoking he can be. I did not think it was still in me to fly out as I did!" "He had no business to come here interfering and tormenting you," said Alison, hotly. "I dare say he thought he had! But one could not think of that when it came to threatening me with his giving no help to Colin if-- There was no resisting telling him how little we cared!" "You have not offended him so that he will keep Colin away!" "The more he tried, the more Colin would come! No, I am not sorry for having offended him. I don't mind him; but Ailie, how little one knows! All the angry and bitter feelings that I thought burnt out for ever when I lay waiting for death, are stirred up as hotly as they were long ago. The old self is here as strong as ever! Ailie, don't tell Colin about this; but to-morrow is a saint's day, and would you see Mr. Touchett, and try to arrange for me to go to the early service? I think then I might better be helped to conquer this." "But, Ermine, how can you? Eight o'clock, you know." "Yes, dearest, it will give you a great deal of trouble, but you never mind that, you know; and I am so much stronger than I used to be, that you need not fear. Besides, I want help so much! And it is the day Colin goes away!" Alison