The Clouds [14]
To make you better used to them, I would you were hung.
STREPSIADES
A curse upon you! you insult your master!
SOCRATES
"I would you were hung!" What a stupid speech! and so emphatically
spoken! How can one ever get out of an accusation with such a tone,
summon witnesses or touch or convince? And yet when we think,
Hyperbolus learnt all this for one talent!
STREPSIADES
Rest undisturbed and teach him. He has a most intelligent
nature. Even when quite little he amused himself at home with making
houses, carving boats, constructing little chariots of leather, and
understood wonderfully how to make frogs out of pomegranate rinds.
Teach him both methods of reasoning, the strong and also the weak,
which by false arguments triumphs over the strong; if not the two,
at least the false, and that in every possible way.
SOCRATES
The Just and Unjust Discourse themselves shall instruct him. I
shall leave you.
STREPSIADES
But forget it not, he must always, always be able to confound
the true.
(Socrates enters the Thoughtery; a moment later the JUST and the
UNJUST DISCOURSE come out; they are quarrelling violently.)
JUST DISCOURSE
Come here! Shameless as you may be, will you dare to show your
face to the spectators?
UNJUST DISCOURSE
Take me where you will. I seek a throng, so that I may the
better annihilate you.
JUST DISCOURSE
Annihilate me! Do you forget who you are?
UNJUST DISCOURSE
I am Reasoning.
JUST DISCOURSE
Yes, the weaker Reasoning."
UNJUST DISCOURSE
But I triumph over you, who claim to be the stronger.
JUST DISCOURSE
By what cunning shifts, pray?
UNJUST DISCOURSE
By the invention of new maxims.
JUST DISCOURSE
.... which are received with favour by these fools.
(He points to the audience.)
UNJUST DISCOURSE
Say rather, by these wise men.
JUST DISCOURSE
I am going to destroy you mercilessly.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
How pray? Let us see you do it.
JUST DISCOURSE
By saying what is true.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
I shall retort and shall very soon have the better of you.
First, maintain that justice has no existence.
JUST DISCOURSE
Has no existence?
UNJUST DISCOURSE
No existence! Why, where is it?
JUST DISCOURSE
With the gods.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
How then, if justice exists, was Zeus not put to death for
having put his father in chains?
JUST DISCOURSE
Bah! this is enough to turn my stomach! A basin, quick!
UNJUST DISCOURSE
You are an old driveller and stupid withal.
JUST DISCOURSE
And you a degenerate and shameless fellow.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
Hah! What sweet expressions!
JUST DISCOURSE
An impious buffoon.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
You crown me with roses and with lilies.
JUST DISCOURSE
A parricide.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
Why, you shower gold upon me.
JUST DISCOURSE
Formerly it was a hailstorm of blows.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
I deck myself with your abuse.
JUST DISCOURSE
What impudence!
UNJUST DISCOURSE
What tomfoolery!
JUST DISCOURSE
It is because of you that the youth no longer attends the schools.
The Athenians will soon recognize what lessons you teach those who are
fools enough to believe you.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
You are overwhelmed with wretchedness.
JUST DISCOURSE
And you, you prosper. Yet you were poor when you said, "I am the
Mysian Telephus," and used to stuff your wallet with maxims of
Pandeletus to nibble at.
UNJUST DISCOURSE
Oh! the beautiful wisdom, of which you are now boasting!
JUST DISCOURSE
Madman! But yet madder the city that keeps you, you, the corrupter
of its youth!
UNJUST DISCOURSE
It is not you who will teach this young man; you are as old and
out of date